Dear Queenie,

I’m in my 20s, graduated college and am working in a job that will give me advancement in my chosen career, but my family keeps asking me why I don’t date and if I don’t date how can I ever expect to find someone and get married and start a family.

Queenie, I’m quite happy being single. How can I get my family to understand that I’m not interested in marriage or having children?—Happy by myself

Dear Happy,

Just keep telling them what you have told me.

But you should consider carefully your reasons for feeling this way, and the possibility that your feelings may change as you get older and when that happens it may be too late to change your lifestyle, especially, if you are a woman, where it concerns having children.

If you need help sorting these things out, professional counselling probably would help.

Dear Queenie,

My wife and I have been married for more than 20 years and lately she gets mad – I mean just furious – over the least little thing and then she won’t talk to anybody and if you try to talk to her she gets madder and even walks out of the house to get away from you.

I tried marriage counselling but she blamed everyone else for making her mad and then got mad at the counsellor when he started asking her questions.

I have stayed with her for the kids’ sake but I can’t take much more of this.

Queenie, what should I do?—Harassed husband

Dear Harassed,

Encourage your wife to go to the family doctor, or better yet a gynaecologist, for a complete check-up. If you have been married for more than 20 years it is quite possible that your wife is going through menopause and is suffering from hormone imbalances that are causing violent emotional swings.

And while we are on the subject of marital counselling, let me inform my readers that I have been told that in addition to the references I have given previously, the Mental Health Foundation also offers marriage counselling. However, unfortunately I do not have contact information for them.

Dear Queenie,

  My best friend since school days is mad at me because I’ve also been getting friendly with a woman I met at work. When my old friend met the new one she was so rude to her and sometimes she just gives me the cold shoulder too.

  Queenie, I don’t want to lose my old friend just because of the new one. What to do?—Caught in the middle

Dear Caught,

  Obviously your old friend is jealous of the new one. However, I do not recommend letting her disrupt your new friendship or she will always hold you hostage to her own jealousy.

  Try to spend more time with your old friend and hope she can learn to deal with her jealousy.

Dear Queenie,

My unmarried daughter has a wonderful son who does well in school and has lots of friends.

The problem is that every time she gets a new boyfriend she tries to make him her son’s daddy and the fact is that she has terrible taste in men. They are rude and mean and usually uneducated and they think that because our grandson is smart and polite he is girlish and the way to teach him to be a man is to be rough with him, sometimes even abusive.

Queenie, how can I protect my grandson?—Worried grandmother

Dear Grandmother,

Try to make your daughter understand that it is very bad for her son to constantly be introduced to new daddies, especially the abusive sort.

And if you cannot get this point across to her, make it clear that you will report her boyfriend (and possibly her) to the police and the Court of Guardianship if you suspect your grandson is being abused.