Dear Queenie,

My parents fight all the time and my father says mean things to my mother and me and if we object he says we are disrespecting him, but he doesn’t have any respect for us.

I hate all this and I don’t want to see my parents get divorced like some of my friends’ parents have done.

Queenie, is there anything I can do about all this?—Unhappy teenager

Dear Teenager,

Not every couple that fights ends up getting divorced. Sometimes they just get used to this kind of behaviour and take it for granted.

It might help if you talk to your parents in a quiet moment – separately or together – and explain to them how their behaviour makes you feel. They may not realise how they appear to other people, even you. I wish you good luck with this!

Dear Queenie,

I have always made it a rule not to get involved with anyone I work with, but one time a colleague drove me home after a group of us went out for a few drinks after work I let him come into my house and one thing led to another and we ended up making out.

He wants to make something big out of this, but I don’t. I like him as a friend, but that’s all, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

Queenie, how can I stay just friends with him?—Broken rule

Dear Broken rule,

First of all, you need a new rule: Stop at two drinks or quit drinking entirely.

Then tell your friend what you have told me: that you like him as a friend, but are not interested in anything more than that. It may hurt his pride, but if he is really your friend he will accept what you say and appreciate your honesty.

Dear Queenie,

In less than a year my young daughter became pregnant for her psychotic and abusive boyfriend.

Every time he gets abusive, he and his mother constantly ring off her phone with many apologies and promises to get counselling by Mental Health. And before you look he charms his way right back to her and they forget about the much-needed help.

As a Christian mother, I tried to be supportive and personally called MH and Safe Haven on their behalf. Now I am very bitter towards him and don't even want him by the house. My heart grieves for my daughter and my unborn grandchild which he uses as the passport to her.

Queenie, do you think I should try to get along with him for the sake of my grandchild?—Unhappy Grandmother

Dear Grandmother,

I think you should do whatever you have to do to stay as close as possible to your daughter, because as sure as the sun comes up in the morning she and her child are going to need your help to protect them from this man’s abuse.

I doubt you can get this man to go to MH for counselling, but if you can persuade your daughter to go to Safe Haven she may find the strength to separate herself from an abusive partner, if only for her child’s sake.

Dear Queenie,

Our son married a woman of a different faith than ours and his sister has cut him out of her life because of it. We do not share this attitude and we have tried to talk her out of it but she won’t listen.

She doesn’t quarrel with us for staying in contact with him, but she won’t have anything to do with him anymore. Our son, on the other hand, is angry because we keep in touch with his sister and he accuses us of supporting her bigotry.

Queenie, is there any way we can get them to reconcile?—Caught in the middle

Dear Caught,

Not unless your daughter becomes more tolerant of her brother’s wife. However, if (when) your son becomes a father he may come to understand that you do not stop loving your children just because they have ideas with which you do not agree – and that the only chance you have of helping his sister become more tolerant is to stay in touch with her.