Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend talks about the most private things to anyone who will listen. I don’t care when it’s his things he talks about, but when it’s stuff that should be private just between the two of us, like what we do in the bedroom, I get upset. He always apologises for upsetting me, but he still does it again and again.
Queenie, how can I get him to respect my feelings?—Embarrassed
Dear Embarrassed,
Your boyfriend does this to get attention and if he knows it upsets you and he still does it he is not likely to change. You will have to decide whether you are willing to put up with this kind of treatment – and him.
If you want to really let him know how this makes you feel, you can get some revenge by chiming in on his next embarrassing recital with something embarrassing about him – like how he can’t “get it up” in the bedroom without help, for example. But if you do this, be prepared for him to get upset with you – and maybe, if you are lucky, dump you.
Dear Queenie,
I got married right out of high school and divorced a few years later. Since then I have dated several women, but I am not interested in any committed relationship. Right now I am dating two different women, both of whom would like to get married even though they both know how I feel about it. One of them knows I am also dating someone else. The other does not.
Queenie, do you have any advice for me?—Happily single
Dear Single,
As long as you are happy with the way things are I have no advice for you except this: You should tell the lady who does not already know that you are dating someone else too and let her decide whether she is willing to continue seeing you.
Dear Queenie,
We love to entertain our friends in our home, but there is one couple that never wants to go home. Even after all the others have left they stay and stay until all hours of the night even though they know we have to get up early the next day.
Queenie, is there a polite way to tell them to go home?—Lingering Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
It would help if, when you invite your guests, you make it plain how long the visit will be and about what time it will end, and doing so is not rude. If you have clearly set a time limit on the visit and a guest(s) stay past that limit, they are the rude one(s) and I see no reason to be especially polite to them. Feel free to tell them the visit is over and ask them to leave.
And you might want to consider limiting your socialising with such a person(s) to venues outside your home that close fairly early and/or where you can leave whenever you are ready, letting them stay on if they want to.
Dear Queenie,
I love animals and I work in an animal shelter where sometimes there is a dog or a cat that needs more attention than it gets in the shelter, so I bring it home to take care of.
My boyfriend isn’t much interested in animals and gets annoyed when I bring one home. He says I already have too many pets and I should get another job where I won’t be tempted to get more.
Queenie, I just can’t let those animals suffer or be put to sleep. What can I do?—Dr. Doolittle
Dear Dr. Doolittle,
Don’t even think about finding another job! The one you have seems to suit you perfectly.
Instead, find another boyfriend! The one you have does not suit you at all.
Dear Queenie,
Someone I know makes fun of other people when they make mistakes, even though that person makes plenty of mistakes themself, sometimes the same ones they have made fun of in other people.
Queenie, why do they act this way? Don’t they realize how foolish they make themself look?—Disgusted
Dear Disgusted,
Some people who aware of their own shortcomings try to build up their self-esteem and (unsuccessfully) try to avoid feeling foolish by tearing other people down. They are bullies, plain and simple.
