Dear Queenie,
My wife’s parents only speak Spanish and whenever they visit us she talks to them only in Spanish, which I do not understand at all. Our children speak Spanish and English, so they aren’t left out of the conversation.
Queenie, isn’t this rude? Shouldn’t they at least try to learn some English?—Speechless in Spanish

Dear Speechless,
Of course, it is rude, but if your in-laws do not understand English it would be just as rude to speak English and leave them out of the conversation. Ask one of your children to translate for you (both ways) when this happens. And why not at least try to learn a little Spanish? It could be very rewarding.

Dear Queenie,
I am pregnant and my baby is due on or around the date my brother is getting married. His fiancée is furious about this because I may not be able to attend the ceremony at the last minute or, if I do, I might go into labor right then and there and take all the attention away from her.
Queenie, what’s the best thing to do – stay away or take a chance and go?—Pregnant sister

Dear Sister,
I hesitate to give advice in this matter, because whatever I say, your baby may take matters into his or her own hands.
First, consult your obstetrician for an answer to your question. Then tell your future sister-in-law, “My doctor says ... .” Or, if the doctor’s advice is not indisputable, put the question to her and abide by her decision (I will bet she tells you to plan on staying away).
And congratulations on your upcoming blessed event!

Dear Queenie,
My sister married a man I used to date in high school when we were both kids. Now, whenever we all get together, he likes to talk about the good old days when we were in high school, including mentioning the fact that we used to go out together.
It was no big thing then and there is nothing between us now, but he keeps talking about it and it makes me uncomfortable, as if he thinks there might be, which there wouldn’t.
Queenie, how do I get him to stop?—Not interested

Dear Not interested,
When he starts talking about the past, interrupt him and tell him he is just being boring. Then, take him aside and tell him what you have told me: that he is making you uncomfortable and if he has any ideas of that sort he can just forget them. Repeat emphatically, as necessary.

Dear Queenie,
My father is a smoker and so are some of my other relatives and my husband and his parents. My husband and I have made it a rule that there is no smoking in our house because one of our children has breathing problems. We even set up a nice place outside on our porch where they can go to smoke.
The problem is with my father. He refuses to go outside to smoke and he won’t even try to visit us unless we will let him smoke anywhere he wants to, which we won’t because of our child’s breathing problems, so he never visits. And of course we won’t let the children go visit him for the same reason.
Queenie, we want our children to know their grandfather. What can we do?—Concerned mother

Dear, Mother
There is nothing more you can do. Your first concern is your children’s health. You have not banned smokers from your house, you have just set some restrictions on them and you have tried to make it as comfortable and convenient for them as possible under the circumstances.
Shame on your father for being so self-centred!