Visiting Etty Ket

Dear Queenie,
I have a neighbour who will drop in any time to visit, even when it is clear that I have other company. I don’t want to be rude, but I do want to visit with whoever I’m with, especially family or friends, without anyone else butting in.
Queenie, what’s a polite way to handle this kind of thing?—Visiting Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,
Just tell your neighbour, “Sorry, I am busy right now. Please come back (at whatever time you would not be displeased to see them).” That is as polite as an uninvited, unannounced drop-in deserves (even if you leave off the “Please come back” part).

Conversation Etty Ket

Dear Queenie,
There’s this woman where I work who always interrupts a conversation if she’s not interested in what it’s about and starts talking about something else, usually something to do with herself or her family or her kids.
Queenie, you don’t have to tell me how rude this is, but how do you deal with it without being just as rude yourself?—Conversation Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,
This woman seems extremely self-involved. I see no reason to worry about being polite to rude people. Feel free to interrupt her in turn, to tell her “Hey, you just interrupted me” and continue with whatever you were talking about before she interrupted you, or just turn your back on her and walk away.

Greasy fingers

Dear Queenie,
Sometimes when I’m eating in a restaurant someone will come up to me and want to shake hands to say hello.
I don’t like shaking hands when I’m eating because who knows where that other person’s hand has been and I’m handling food, especially if it’s something like chicken wings or French fries that you pick up with your fingers.
Queenie, how would you handle this?—Greasy fingers

Dear Greasy,
Just tell the person, “Sorry, I am eating French fries (or chicken wings or whatever) and my hands are all greasy.” Far from being offended, the other person probably will appreciate your consideration.

Father-to-be

Dear Queenie,
My wife and I come from two different countries and cultures with two very different types of people’s names. The problem is she wants to give our children her type of names and I want to give them mine, especially because they are normal where we live.
Queenie, how do we decide?—Father-to-be

Dear Father-to-be,
Why not do both – one kind of first name and the other kind of middle name? Your children probably will end up using whichever names they prefer – possibly depending on where they are at any given time.

High school student

Dear Queenie,
I’m in high school and in a couple of years I’ll be going away to college. The idea of being so far away from home really scares me and I know I will miss my family and friends.
Queenie, how am I going to get along with all of this all alone in a strange place?—High school student

Dear Student,
You have a couple of years to grow up some more and perhaps by then the prospect will not be so frightening. Meanwhile, you might want to consider continuing your education right here in St. Maarten for a year or two after graduating from high school – there are several possibilities.
And when (if) you finally do leave, there are many easy ICT [information communication technology – Ed.] ways to keep in touch with your family and friends at long distance, not to mention all the new friends you probably will make once over there.

The Daily Herald

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