Dear Queenie,
My mother’s husband, my stepfather, used to abuse us all, even Mom, when we were growing up. Sometimes he was real nice, but other times he would slap us around and even punch us.
Now I have kids of my own I will not let them visit Mom because he is still there. She can come to visit me and even bring him along, but I won’t go to her house, with or without the kids.
Mom says this isn’t fair to her. She says I’m not letting her be a real grandmother to the kids, but I know she won’t protect them from her husband any more than she protected us from him.
Queenie, does this make me a bad daughter like she says?—Feeling guilty

Dear Feeling guilty,
No, it makes you a good mother. Your first responsibility is to protect your children.
It is not as if you have cut your mother out of your children’s lives. She can see them whenever she visits you. If she does not want to come to your house, that is on her, not on you.

Dear Queenie,
I have a neighbour who will drop in any time to visit, even when it is clear that I have other company. I don’t want to be rude, but I do want to visit with whoever I’m with, especially family or friends, without anyone else butting in.
Queenie, what’s a polite way to handle this kind of thing?—Visiting Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,
Just tell your neighbour, “Sorry, I am busy right now. Please come back (at whatever time you would not be displeased to see them).” That is as polite as an uninvited, unannounced drop-in deserves (even if you leave off the “Please come back” part).

Dear Queenie,
My son lets my grandson (his son) use the bathroom at the same time he does, like one shaving while the other is taking a shower, and his wife is the same way with their daughters.
Queenie, do you think this is proper?—Bathroom Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,
This certainly does seem to be my week for Etty Ket questions!
To answer yours, I do not see anything improper about it. It is much the same thing as people of the same sex sharing a locker room at school or at the gym.

Dear Queenie,
There’s this woman where I work who always interrupts a conversation if she’s not interested in what it’s about and starts talking about something else, usually something to do with herself or her family or her kids.
Queenie, you don’t have to tell me how rude this is, but how do you deal with it without being just as rude yourself?—Conversation Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,
This woman seems extremely self-involved. I see no reason to worry about being polite to rude people. Feel free to interrupt her in turn, to tell her “Hey, you just interrupted me” and continue with whatever you were talking about before she interrupted you, or just turn your back on her and walk away.