Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend says she loves everything about me except that I’m not very good-looking and I’m too fat. I suppose I could lose some weight, but I’ll never be good-looking.
Queenie, what should I do?—Confused
Dear Confused,
Well, you could try to lose some weight. Doing so would be good for your health and you might also find you look better for doing it. But if that is what you decide to do, it should be because it is what you want for yourself, not just to please your girlfriend.
Dear Queenie,
I am a regular blood donor. Usually such things are kept anonymous, but recently I donated blood for a man who had been in an accident and he found out who the donor was and now seems to think we are “blood brothers.” He calls me or texts me every day to thank me again and tell me how he is doing.
Queenie, how can I get him to leave me alone?—His donor, not his pal
Dear Donor,
The next time he calls or texts, reply that you are pleased that he is doing all right, but that you would prefer for him to get on with his life and let you get on with yours – separately. Then block his number.
Dear Queenie,
My wife drinks too much now and then and when she’s been drinking she says and does stupid stuff that she doesn’t remember when she sobers up and thinks we’re making up stories about what she said and did.
Queenie, how can we make her believe us and maybe get some help for her drinking?—Worried husband
Dear Husband,
In these days of the ever-present cell phone with recording features the answer is simple: When your wife starts acting up, record what she says and does. Then play it back when she is sober. Who knows, it may even shock her into staying sober with you, and getting help doing so if she needs it.
Dear Queenie,
A while ago my married brother asked me to fix him up with a date while he was visiting here without his wife. He also mentioned that he had recently broken up with his girlfriend (read “byside”).
Queenie, what ever happened to “forsaking all others” and getting divorced or at least separated before you start looking for someone else? And what should I say to him if this kind of thing comes up again?—Shocked sister
Dear Sister,
Just ask him the same questions you have asked me.
Dear Queenie,
Why do you always recommend counselling for people who write to you about the problem they are having with some other disgusting person, usually their spouse or partner?
Queenie, the problem is the way the other person is behaving, they are the one who needs counselling.—Another faithful fan
Dear Fan,
The “disgusting persons” are not the ones who ask me for advice. It would be wonderful if they did, and if they would take the advice I would give them, but that is not likely to happen any time soon – that is part of what makes them “disgusting.”
Meanwhile, the letter writers need help in coping with their situations, deciding whether they want to remain in said situations, and help in getting out if that is what they decide to do.
