Dear Queenie,

  My two sons-in-law just cannot get along with each other. Every time they are together it ends up in a big argument. They spoil every family occasion and their children don’t get to know each other.

  Queenie, how can my wife and I fix things up?—Fed-up grandfather

Dear Grandfather,

  If you try to “fix things up” you may spoil your relationship with both of them. Hold separate family occasions – either two Thanksgiving dinners and two Christmas parties, or invite one daughter’s family for Thanksgiving and the other daughter’s family for Christmas. And you can have all the cousins get together at your house with only or even without their mothers, perhaps while their fathers are at work.

Dear Queenie,

  There’s this older man where I work who says he likes me a lot. We talk to each other a lot, not always about our work, and sometimes he gives me a treat like a box of candy. He says he likes me very much, but he has never tried to see me away from work.

  Queenie, what’s wrong with him?—Embarrassed co-worker

Dear Co-worker,

  There is nothing wrong with him. Apparently he has a crush on you, but does not intend to take it any further than he already has, possibly because of your age difference – or maybe because he knows or thinks you are married or in a committed relationship.

  If his attentions embarrass you so much, try to avoid him and stop accepting his little treats. Eventually he will get over it.

Dear Queenie,

  My wife and I both work to support ourselves and our 2 children and we have another one on the way. I have asked her to get a second job to help with our household expenses after the baby comes but she says she won’t even try, because she will be too busy with the new baby.

  Queenie, we don’t have any savings and we already have a lot of debt. How will we manage?—Worried father

Dear Father,

  Your wife already has two full-time jobs: the one that brings in money, and taking care of your house and the two children you already have, which will be even harder when the new baby comes and she has three children to take care of.

  I think you will have to be the one who gets a second job to help with your household expenses. Your wife already has all she can manage.

Dear Queenie,

  My husband’s parents and brothers and sisters always seem to be broke, or at least short of money, and they always come to my husband for a “loan” that they never get around to paying back.

  A few of them have jobs and can support themselves and still always seem to need more money, but the others depend on us and on government assistance and charity.

  My husband has a good job and earns a good living and he says we are blessed to be able to help them out. I say they should try harder to help themselves. Maybe if he didn’t give them money when they ask for it, the ones without jobs would actually start looking for work.

  As it is, we do not live as well as we could if my husband were not helping his family so much.

  Queenie, am I being too stingy?—Fed-up wife

Dear Wife,

  Generosity may be a good thing, but it can become a fault if carried to an extreme. Your husband is not doing his family members any favour by helping them out so much that they have no incentive to become financially independent of him.

  Perhaps you and he together can set up a budget that includes a specific amount that he can use to help out his family and when that is used up he will just have to say “no” to any requests for any kind of financial assistance – including co-signing a loan or being in any way responsible for credit-card payments.