Dear Queenie,
My son is a college graduate, but he has never had a job so he doesn’t have anything to put on a resumé. He won’t even take a part-time job. He helps around the house, but not much, and he does some volunteer work at our church, but mostly he spends a lot of time playing video games and watching TV.
Queenie, how can we get him to start job-hunting before he is so old nobody will consider hiring him?—Worried father
Dear Father,
Stop hoping your son will start looking for work and insist that he do so. Also, start charging him enough rent that he will have to find at least a part-time job to earn the money to pay you.
And point out to him that his college degree, his volunteer work and any part-time job he works at are things he can put on a resumé and use for references.
The longer you let him wait around doing nothing, the harder it will be for him to get a job when he does start looking for one. And what will he do when the time comes, as it inevitably will, when you are unable or just not there to support him?
Dear Queenie,
My husband has a friend who is constantly arguing with me about little things or making scornful remarks about something I do or say.
I don’t want to be as rude to him as he is to me, so I just keep quiet and try to avoid him.
Queenie, can you think of any way I can answer him or shut him up without being rude?—Offended wife
Dear Offended,
Try telling him, “Maybe you are right. I will have to think about it.” Then walk away and go about your business, doing whatever you think is best.
Dear Queenie,
I’ve been invited to a wedding and the invitation has a note asking for a gift of money to help pay for their new house, as they already have lots of things they really don’t need.
Queenie, is this some new kind of etiquette?—Wedding invitee
Dear Invitee,
It is not any kind of etiquette, but it is happening more and more often these days. Feel free to oblige, or not, as you choose, depending on how you feel about the people involved.
And if you do not attend the wedding you are not obliged to send any gift whatsoever, although you might consider making a donation to charity in the name of the happy couple and letting them know you have done so.
Dear Queenie,
My mother is getting senile and doesn’t recognise us, her family, or old friends when they visit her, but even if she doesn’t remember who we are she enjoys visiting with us.
A lot of her friends have stopped coming to visit because she doesn’t recognise them. I have tried to explain that she still enjoys visiting with them, but they say they can’t bear to see her this way.
Queenie, what more can I do? Maybe it will help if you tell them.—Sad son
Dear Son,
Thank you for your confidence in my influence.
To all my readers: It only takes a little while to visit someone like this man’s mother, or anyone in an old age home or a nursing facility, but it means ever so much to the one you are visiting and can make a big difference for the better in their life. Consider it your good deed for the day.
Dear Queenie,
I’m going on 30 and have been in a couple of relationships, but nothing that ever got as serious as getting engaged to be married.
My mother keeps after me about settling down and getting married and having children so I won’t be alone all my life,
Queenie, I like my life the way it is. How do I get my mother to drop the subject?—Happily single
Dear Happily single,
Considering the divorce rate these days, getting married is no guarantee that you will stay that way happily for the rest of your life. You will be better off single and happy than married and miserable. You might try pointing that out to your mother.
