Dear Queenie,

  I am engaged to a man from a family that my family does not like – we’re sort of like Romeo and Juliet, I guess.

  When they heard we got engaged both families made a big fuss and everyone said they would have nothing to do with arranging the wedding and they wouldn’t even attend, and neither of us would be welcome in the other family’s home.

  Queenie, is there anything we can do to make things better?—Unhappy fiancée  

Dear Fiancée,

  I doubt it. These feuds have a way of going on forever.

  One thing you might consider is have both of your DNAs checked against each other. Could it be possible that the reason for the rift between the families was a long-ago relationship that went bad and that you and your fiancé are related – possibly very closely related – and that is why the families are so opposed to your marriage?

Dear Queenie,

  Now that it is getting warmer outside, my wife insists on closing the windows and turning on the airco to keep cool. I would prefer to keep the windows open so we can have fresh air in the house, but she says the breeze brings in too much dust.

  Queenie, who is right?—Disrespected husband

Dear Husband,

  This is not a matter of who is “right” or “wrong”, but of personal preferences. It is also a matter of where you live – for example, if you live anywhere near the often-burning “sanitary” landfill, I would tend to side with your wife, dust or no dust.

  If you cannot work out your differences together, try to get professional counselling – together.

  One final thought: Can your air-conditioner be set to bring in outside (fresh) air through a filter to keep out the dust? Of course, the filter may have to be cleaned or replaced frequently, but the benefit might be worth the trouble/expense.

Dear Queenie,

  When my niece got married I couldn’t go to the wedding, but I sent them a nice gift. Later her mother asked me whether I had given the couple any money and I told her what I gave them. She said I should give them some money too to help pay for the honeymoon.

  Queenie, is she right?—Wedding gift Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,

  No. You gave them one nice gift and that should be enough.

Dear Queenie,

  My parents were friends with another couple a few years younger than them. When my mother was dying, so was the other woman’s husband and they both died about the same time.

  My father went to her husband’s funeral and she came to my mother’s funeral, and they kept in touch after that and about a year later they started going out together and now they are planning to get married.

  Queenie, what do you think of that?—Grieving daughter

Dear Daughter,

  I think your father and his friend the widow had a lot in common, especially their grief over the almost-simultaneous loss of their respective spouses and friends, and I am not surprised that their friendship evolved into something much more special.

  I wish them both the best, and I hope you do too.