Dear Queenie,
I’m in high school and my parents are getting divorced, but up to now they are still living together and it’s really weird around the house. They don’t talk to each other and they don’t tell me anything about what is going on with them.
Queenie, how can I get along with both my parents and not have any divorce talk?—Confused teenager
Dear Teenager,
Your parents may feel they are protecting you by not talking about what is going on (or not going on) between them, or they may think talking about it will start a big argument.
Perhaps talking to your school counsellor, or some family member who knows what is happening, will help. Or perhaps you can get professional counselling through your family doctor or even the Mental Health Foundation.
Dear Queenie,
My brother-in-law is jealous because he thinks our daughter is the favorite grandchild over his son, and I have found out that he goes around saying nasty things about me to other family members behind my back.
I don’t have anything to do with him except at family events, but then I can’t avoid him.
Queenie, what should I do?—Fed up
Dear Fed up,
If your family members know you well, they know how little your brother-in-law’s remarks about you are worth. At family events, avoid him as much as you can and be polite to him when you cannot avoid him. The others present will appreciate your forbearance and will probably ignore any remarks he makes about you.
Dear Queenie,
I had to have surgery recently and my doctor prescribed medication for the pain afterward while I am healing. All my friends have been very helpful, coming over to look after the kids and do the housework and cooking and just keep me company.
But I have noticed that after one of them leaves, some of my pain pills have gone missing – not many, just 2 or 3, but definitely there are not as many as when I last took a dose, because I keep careful count so I will know when I need to get a refill.
Queenie, should I talk to this friend or what should I do?—Worried sick friend
Dear Friend,
From now on, keep your pain pills locked up where your friend cannot get to them.
As for talking to your friend, do not accuse your friend, but if it will make you feel better just say that you have noticed that some of your pills go missing when that friend visits and suggest that if they are addicted, they should try to get professional help.
If they admit what they have done and apologise, hopefully it will make you feel a little better about the entire matter. If they do not, do not discuss the matter further and do not get into an argument about it, just change the subject.
Dear Queenie,
I like to go out to dinner with friends every week, but the restaurants they choose are kept so cold with air conditioning that I just can’t take it. Some of them have outdoor dining, but it is just too hot or windy or there are too many bugs.
Queenie, why can’t I get to choose what restaurant we go to?—Shivering at dinner
Dear Shivering,
If your friends are paying for your dinner, it is only fair that they get to choose the restaurant, although they might be willing to listen if you make a suggestion as to where you would like to eat.
However, if they are too warm in the place you choose there is nothing they can do about it, while you can always carry with you a warm sweater or even a jacket to wear in the cold air-conditioned places.
Dear Queenie,
My best friend worries all the time about her weight and she almost doesn’t eat anything. She is much taller than I am and weights less than me, and my doctor says I am the right weight for my height.
Queenie, is there any way I can help her?—Worried friend
Dear Friend,
First talk to your friend and tell her how worried you are. Try to get her to see a doctor who can explain to her how damaging this can be for her health.
And, if she is underage, tell her parents how worried you are about her. They can insist that she see a doctor.
