Dear Queenie,

  My wife has a different religion from my family and one of my relatives told her she wouldn’t go to heaven because she doesn’t believe in their religion. Now my wife is mad at me because of what that other person said.

  I have told her I don’t think what that person said is right, but she is still mad at me.

  Queenie, why is it my fault?—Innocent husband

Dear Husband,

  I hope you have made it clear to your wife that you do not agree with or support what that person told her. If not, do so at once, emphatically.

  However, I have to wonder why your wife became so angry at you. Is it possible that there are other problems in your marriage that need to be dealt with? If so, I suggest you start trying to work them out – with professional counselling if necessary (but not from anyone with a religious connection).

Dear Queenie,

  My husband and I were together for more than 5 years when we got engaged and about 3 years later we had a small private wedding and then a big celebration with all our family and friends.

  Now my husband teases me that I tricked him into marrying me and dragged him to the altar. I know he’s just joking, but sounds like he’s ashamed of getting married and it hurts my feelings.

  Queenie, how do I get him to stop?—New bride

Dear Bride,

  Have you told your husband how his “jokes” make you feel? He is not a mind-reader, you know. Tell him – pleasantly – in plain and simple terms how you feel about what he says and see how he reacts. Then you will know whether you have anything to be concerned about and, if so, can take appropriate measures.

Dear Queenie,

  I can’t get my children to pick up their toys and other things they leave lying around the house. I have to tell them every time and even then they don’t do a very good job of it.

  Queenie, do you have any suggestions?—Disgusted mother

Dear Mother,

  I have several:

  When you pick up your children’s things, do not put them away where they can get them out again. Instead, put them somewhere they cannot get them, and make them pay some sort of penalty to get them back.

  For example, if you give them an allowance or they have some other source of pocket money, charge them a fee for each item you had to pick up. Or, assume that they do not want any toys or other non-essentials they leave lying around, and donate the items to charity, while charging a fee for the essentials.

  If charging your children actual cash in such a case is not practical, the penalty can be loss of some privilege or special treat, even if it is just no dessert after a meal. Just make sure they understand the connection between their behaviour and the penalty.

Dear Queenie,

  I’ve been seeing a man from where I work. We are both single, not in any relationship with anyone else, and we are just friends with each other.

  It used to be when we went somewhere together we would end the occasion with a friendly hug. Then the hug got more than just friendly, and then we started kissing and now when we see each other we spend a lot of time making out.

  The problem is that we are still just friends. We aren’t thinking about any kind of romantic relationship.

  Queenie, should we stop seeing each other?—Confused

Dear Confused,

  You say you are both unattached to anyone else, so keep on seeing each other and see how things develop. And I wish you both good luck!