Dear Queenie,

  I have a cousin who lies about all the things he has done and how good he is at doing them. Mostly I keep quiet and don’t say anything, even when I know for a fact that he is lying or at least exaggerating, but I worry that my aunt and uncle might take his advice about their finances or let him fix their car, when I know these are some of the things he lies about.

  Queenie, should I warn them about things like that?—Worried nephew

Dear Nephew,

  Yes, but do so privately, when no one else is around to hear.

  Tell them you are speaking to them about it because you are worried about the harm your cousin might cause. Then suggest that if he gives them any advice they should consult with a professional in the field (a financial advisor or attorney, for example) and if their car needs work they should take it to a professional mechanic.

  Then all you can do is hope they take your advice.

Dear Queenie,

  My parents got divorced when me and my brothers were little. Most of their problems were because my father drank too much.

  Mom took good care of us and she is great with our children, but we hardly ever see Dad and when we do he criticizes us and says bad things about Mom, so we don’t let him see our children very much.

  I have gone to counselling and suggested that it might help Dad too, but he refuses to go.

  I really don’t want to see him at all, but I don’t like the idea of turning my back on him.

  Queenie, what to do?—Fed-up son

Dear Son,

  When your father criticises you and/or says bad things about your mother, tell him you do not wish to hear any of it, and leave or tell him to leave if he does not stop.

  And continue going for counselling as long as it is helping you.

  You might also get more support from Adult Children of Alcoholics

(adultchildren.org). It would be worth a try.

Dear Queenie,

  My daughter and her husband always want everyone to be looking at them. Some time ago at the funeral of a relative, they made the announcement that they were expecting a baby. Then later my daughter got vexed when I suggested that a funeral was not an appropriate time to make such an announcement, and they left.

  I did not hear from them again until recently when my daughter called and asked for money, and then we didn’t hear from them again. After the baby was born another family member told us about it, but we still didn’t hear from our grandchild’s parents.

  Queenie, is there any way we can get to see our grandchild?—Unhappy grandma

Dear Grandma,

  If the place where you live has laws about grandparents’ rights, you may have a chance. If you live in St. Maarten or one of the other Dutch islands, check with the  Court of Guardianship.

Dear Queenie,

  I’m in love with and living with a man who is married, but separated from his wife who is living with another man.

  My man’s wife calls me and talks to me like I was her best friend whenever she has a problem with the man she is living with.

  Queenie, am I wasting my time with this man? What should I do?—Confused

Dear Confused,

  “Your man” is not really your man as long as he is married to someone else, even if they are not living together. You need to talk this over with him and find out what his long-term plans are in regard to you and to the woman who is still legally his wife. Then you will have a better idea of what you can do.

  Professional counselling might help all of you in resolving your respective situations.