Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend wants to have sex with me. He isn’t pushing me about it, but I know he wants it. I want to wait until we’ve been together longer and I know him better.
He says he’ll wait until I’m ready. All our friends are having sex.
Queenie, should I do it even though I’m not sure I’m ready?—Frustrating teenager
Dear Teenager,
No! The first time you have sex you should be absolutely sure you are ready for it and that he is the right person to do it with.
Meanwhile, spend less time alone together and more time socialising in groups – but not the ones that are talking about having sex.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I are trying to have a baby and I am having a problem getting pregnant. My sister has also been trying to get pregnant without success.
Queenie, should I talk to her about it or would it hurt her feelings?—Infertile wife
Dear Wife,
By all means talk to your sister. It might even help her to know that you both are having the same problem, which may mean that it runs in your family. And it might help both of you to discover just what the problem is and to get proper medical treatment for it if possible.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I both work, but we have our own accounts and he pays all the household bills except for groceries and won’t let me know about any of that. But he scolds me when I spend money from my own account on things for myself.
Queenie, is this fair?—Independent wife
Dear Wife,
Your husband’s controlling behaviour is a form of abuse and you should not put up with it. How he spends his own money on himself is his business, but you are entitled to know about household expenses, which are mutual, and how he handles them – just as he is entitled to know how much you spend on groceries, which are also a mutual matter (if he is interested enough to ask), but not what you spend on things for yourself.
Dear Queenie,
I have a son with my ex-boyfriend, but we split up and I got in with my present boyfriend just after I got pregnant. Everyone thinks my present boyfriend is the boy’s father, including my present boyfriend and my son.
Now my ex wants to tell our son that he is his real father.
Queenie, should I tell them the truth?—Undecided mother
Dear Mother,
If your son ever has a DNA test the truth will come out, which could be a shock to him, and to your present boyfriend. Better it come from you before that happens.
If your present boyfriend and your son have a good relationship it should not be affected – he will just become the boy’s stepfather instead of his “real” father.
And your ex should remember that a DNA test will prove that he is responsible for child support.
Dear Queenie,
My son’s girlfriend got him involved in a religious group that doesn’t believe in celebrating holidays and birthdays. He got mad when I sent him a birthday card and now he isn’t speaking to me.
Queenie, how can I make things better between us?—Miss my son
Dear Miss,
You can apologise for not sharing his beliefs and promise to show them more respect in the future.
Is your son’s girlfriend speaking to you? If she is, perhaps she will put in a good word on your behalf. Surely these people understand that many people do not share their (un)beliefs.
