Dear Queenie,
A few years ago I found out that my husband was having an affair with his girlfriend from high school, who was (and still is) also married. They ended it when I told them I knew what was going on and since then my husband and I have made up and are doing very well together.
However, I still wonder whether I should have told that woman’s husband, even though I promised her I wouldn’t.
Queenie, what do you think?—Keeping her secret
Dear Keeping,
It has been several years since your husband’s affair with this woman ended. Do you really know what she has been doing since then? Has she been faithful to her husband since she ended the affair with yours? And, is it possible that her husband knew about her affair with your husband and patched things up with his wife when that affair ended, as you did with your husband?
Whatever has been going on between them since then, you probably would be causing both of them unnecessary grief by bringing up a past that is over and done with. Try to forget all about it.
Dear Queenie,
I happened to see a girl on Facebook who says she is interested in men and having a relationship. From her makeup and hair-do you would think she is at least 17 or 18 (it says 18 on Facebook) but I happen to know this girl and she is only 11 going on 12.
Queenie, clearly this is not right. Is there anything I can do about it?—Family friend
Dear Family friend,
Whatever you do, you may not be a friend to this family much longer.
Consult a lawyer to find out what authorities you can report this to in the place where you live. In St. Maarten, I think that would be the Court of Guardianship or the police Juvenile Department, but as I said, a lawyer can give you more specific advice.
Dear Queenie,
When my grandmother died my sister was crying all during the funeral service even though we never knew our grandmother at all because our mother hated her mother and kept us away from her. Everyone was vexed with me because I didn’t cry at the funeral.
Now my sister is still getting on about how she will never have a chance to see our grandmother and get to know her.
Queenie, how can I help her get over all this?—Not in mourning
Dear Not in mourning,
People grieve in different ways. Try to be as sympathetic as you can, get your sister a tissue if she needs one, and try to change the subject or just walk away when you cannot take any more.
Dear Queenie,
One of the cashiers at our favorite supermarket acts as if she knows my husband. She doesn’t talk to him but she keeps watching him all the time we are in her line.
When I asked him about her he got mad at me.
Queenie, why is he so mad at me? Should I ask her if she knows my husband?—Suspicious wife
Dear Wife,
Yes, ask this woman if she knows your husband. Probably he feels guilty about something related to her and does not want to talk about it.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I were separated for a while and during that time he had sex with some other women. He claims he used protection, so he was safe from catching any STDs.
Queenie, is he right, or should I make him use protection with me, and for how long?—Worried wife
Dear Wife,
Your husband should see his doctor and be tested, and if necessary treated, for STDs. Until then, and until his tests come back negative, make him use protection with you.
