Dear Queenie,

  My best friend told me that her husband is constantly comparing her to me, about how good I am at everything I do, and one time when I messed up she laughed and said she would be sure to tell him about it so he wouldn’t think I was so perfect.

  I thought we were good friends, but I’m not so sure now that I understand that she resents the way her husband talks about me, even though it’s not my fault.

  Queenie, what do you think?—Offended friend

Dear Friend,

  As long as your friend’s husband keeps comparing her to you, your friendship will suffer. You could ask him to stop doing so, but if he does not, you may have to forget about your friendship with his wife.

Dear Queenie,

  My boyfriend grew up in a family that didn’t believe in celebrating holidays and special occasions like birthdays. He enjoys parties and such as long as they are not related to a holiday or anything like that.

  Queenie, would it be okay for me to ask him to join me on certain occasions just for the fun of it without bothering about the possible meaning of it all?—Traditional girlfriend

Dear Girlfriend,

  You can ask him to do so, but do not be surprised if he will not. It would be like asking a fish to trade its scales for feathers.

  If you cannot accept his attitude and live with it happily, look for someone who feels the same way you do about such matters.

Dear Queenie,

  I’m all grown up and living on my own but I’m still afraid of the dark like when I was a kid. I always keep a light on, even when I’m sleeping, and when I have to go outside after dark I always carry a flashlight, but still it’s scary.

  Queenie, what’s wrong with me?—Scaredy-cat

Dear Scaredy-cat,

  This kind of irrational fear is called a phobia, and it almost certainly will take professional counselling to help you learn to deal with it and get over it. Ask your doctor to refer you to such a specialist.

Dear Queenie,

  A friend of mine was a sex addict. I knew about it but didn’t say anything to anybody. Eventually he was caught having sex with an underage girl and was sent to prison, but I am certain this just happened once and usually he had sex with adult women.

  Maybe if I had told someone he could have been made to get treatment for his problem before he got into so much trouble.

  Queenie, how can I apologise to his family and everyone else who knew him and didn’t know about his problem?—Sad friend

Dear Friend,

  There is no way you can apologise to your friend or anyone else for not doing anything about his problem before he got into trouble on account of it. That is over and done with, and it is too late to matter what you say now.

  Perhaps professional counselling would help you understand how you could have let all this happen, and help you learn to deal with your own problems.