Dear Queenie,
My niece is getting married, but I have not been invited to the wedding, only to a reception afterward. They said they are keeping the ceremony small, but I found out there will be about 20 people there.
They also gave me some suggestions for a wedding gift when I asked what she might like, all rather expensive.
Queenie, what do you think about all this? Should I be offended?—Wedding guest
Dear Wedding guest,
Twenty people is a rather small group for a wedding ceremony, but considering the bride or the groom, or both, may have large immediate families, not to mention the bride’s and groom’s attendants, do not be offended, just enjoy the reception.
As for the wedding gift, give them whatever gift you can afford – if you cannot decide what to buy, cash (or a cheque) will always be welcome.
Dear Queenie,
I’m 15 and I’ve been going with my boyfriend since last year. Now he is pushing me to have sex with him, but I don’t feel ready for that yet.
Queenie, what can I tell him to make him stop?—Young girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
Tell him you are not ready for that yet, and if he does not stop pushing you for sex you will break up with him so he can find a girlfriend who will give in to him.
If that does not settle the matter, send him on his way and consider yourself lucky to be rid of someone who has so little respect for you.
I know it will not be easy for you, but it is better to break up with someone you are fond of than to let him pressure you into doing something you do not feel right about.
Dear Queenie,
My best friend got a cell phone for her 15th birthday and now she never talks to me anymore, she is always on the phone.
Queenie, why is she treating me like this?—Hurt feelings
Dear Hurt feelings,
Like most teenagers, your friend is fascinated with something new. Ask her to show you how her phone works and hope that when you get one of your own you will become phone-bffs.
Meanwhile, try to make some new friends, preferably ones who also do not have phones of their own.
Dear Queenie,
I always give my husband a gift on his birthday and make him a special meal with birthday cake for dessert, but he never does anything for me on my birthday. If I say anything to him about it he says he just forgot the date.
Queenie, is it silly of me to feel hurt that he can’t remember my birthday?—Annoyed wife
Dear Wife,
It is not silly, but you can help him to do better. A few weeks before your birthday, start mentioning to him that it is coming up and reminding him of the exact date. You could also mention something you might like to get as a birthday gift.
Then, on the day of your birthday, instead of cooking and serving dinner at home, take him out to a nice restaurant. If you make a reservation for the event, be sure to tell the person taking the reservation that it is your birthday, so they can make whatever special arrangements are customary at that restaurant. And when the bill comes, hand it to him and thank him for the nice celebration of your birthday.
Dear Queenie,
There’s this man who is my best friend but my parents don’t approve of him because of the way he looks and dresses.
Queenie, I will go on seeing him no matter what they say, but how can I get them to stop putting him down?—Fed-up girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
If you are grown up and living on your own you have the right to choose your (boy)friends. Given time, your parents may learn to appreciate what kind of a man your friend is regardless of how he looks and dresses. Meanwhile, arguing with them about him will not do you any good, so try to avoid doing so.
