Dear Queenie,
Someone I know talks about themself all the time and never lets anyone else get in a word. If I try to say something they just keep talking, or they end the conversation and walk away.
Queenie, how can I handle this without hurting their feelings?—Fed-up friend
Dear Friend,
No matter what you do besides listen to them, their feelings probably will be hurt.
This person may not even realise that they do not give anyone else a chance to talk. Ask them if they have trouble hearing you and tell them gently that you would like to have a chance to tell them something – and hope they are willing to listen to what you are saying.
Dear Queenie,
A friend of mine lost her father when he was killed in a traffic accident.
Queenie, how can I help her get through this terrible time?—Sympathetic friend
Dear Friend,
Let her know you are sorry about her loss and will listen if and when she wants to talk to you about it. She probably will behave differently for a while – sad or angry, wanting to be alone, or surrounded with friends.
Do not try to help her “get over it”. One does not “get over” a loss like that, but in time she will learn to deal with her loss and get on with her life.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter and her husband are very strict with their oldest son. They scold him and punish him for a lot of little things. They do not treat the younger children this way.
We are worried that as he gets older he will fight back or get into habits that could be very bad for him. We tried to talk to his parents about all this, but they just told us to mind our own business.
Queenie, is there anything else we can do?—Worried grandparents
Dear Grandparents,
You can arrange to have the boy stay with you as much as possible, to give him and his parents a break from each other and while he is with you to set for him an example of good parenting. Let him know he can come to you whenever he needs to talk to someone, and suggest that he also might want to speak to his school counsellor.
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend takes a lot of supplements that she takes all the time and medicines that she takes when she doesn’t feel well. She bought all these things at the drugstore and over the Internet without a prescription so she thinks they are safe, but I worry that they might not be so safe if they are taken together.
Queenie, what do you think?—Concerned boyfriend
Dear Boyfriend,
I think you are right to be concerned, especially if your girlfriend has any chronic medical condition. She should let her doctor know what products she is taking and follow whatever advice the doctor gives her.
Dear Queenie,
My grandparents always send me a card with a check for my birthday and for Christmas. I have a good job and I earn a lot more than my grandparents get for their pensions, so I don’t need the money and I expect they could use it better for themselves, so I never actually cash the checks.
Queenie, should I tell them a card is enough and not to bother sending the checks?—Grateful grandson
Dear Grandson,
It is obvious to your grandparents when they get their bank statements that you have not cashed the checks. You can tell them you no longer need the money, or you can thank them for the gift and tell them you will donate the money to a charity you know they will approve of.
