Dear Editor,
This is my heart-wrenching experience that I firmly believe I need to share.
We often tell ourselves that our children are safe because they are home. They are in their bedrooms. They are not on the streets. They are not hanging out with the wrong crowd. They are under our roof. But are they really safe?
Today, the front door of our homes is not the only door we need to worry about. There is another door that is always open – the internet.
As a parent who is very involved in my children’s education and overall development, I recently began noticing changes in my teenager’s eating habits, vocabulary and the way certain ideas were being expressed. Some things were so out of character, my gut told me something wasn’t right here.
At first, I wondered whether it was simply part of growing up. But the changes were significant enough for me to become curious.
Through conversation, careful questioning and parental investigation, I discovered that my child had been exposed to online communities and influencers whose content went far beyond ordinary teenage entertainment. Some of these personalities have websites and online communities, while also maintaining YouTube and TikTok accounts where portions of their messages are packaged into short, entertaining videos. That is where the danger lies.
The most troubling part is that harmful ideas do not always arrive looking harmful. They can come disguised as humour, memes, self-improvement advice, entertainment, or seemingly harmless conversations about relationships and appearance.
Some of the material I encountered promoted deeply derogatory attitudes toward both women and men. Other messages focused heavily on physical appearance, suggesting that unless a young person looks a certain way – almost like a “superior” or “perfect” human being – they are somehow inadequate.
Even more disturbing was the casual use of the concept of “reincarnation” in discussions about escaping an unacceptable ideal life or superior appearance. It was like Nazi indoctrination without saying it was.
For an adult, that language may immediately raise questions and it did for me. But what happens when a vulnerable teenager repeatedly hears the idea that if life, appearance or circumstances are not what they want, they can simply start over in another life? That is what disturbed me most.
When language can disguise or normalise ideas about self-destruction, we cannot simply dismiss it as teenage internet culture. We have to pay attention to what our children are watching, what they are repeating, who they are listening to, and what ideas are being planted in their minds.
This is not an argument for banning the internet.
The internet has enormous educational value. Our children need digital skills. They need access to information. They need technology to learn, communicate and prepare for the future.
But access without guidance is a different matter.
We have entered an era in which a child can sit quietly in their bedroom while being exposed to thousands of voices from around the world. A parent may think their child is studying, playing a game or watching a harmless video, while an algorithm is continuously recommending the next piece of content.
And now we are entering an even more complicated era with artificial intelligence (AI).
AI can be an extraordinary educational tool, but like the broader internet, its impact depends on how it is used, what safeguards are in place and how prepared our children are to distinguish reliable information from manipulation, harmful ideology and misinformation.
This means parenting in 2026 requires something more than asking, “Did you do your homework?”
We need to ask:
* What are you watching?
* Who are you listening to?
* What are they telling you?
* What language are you hearing?
* What are you beginning to believe about yourself and other people?
And perhaps most importantly:
* What are you eating – and what are you feeding your mind?
We are increasingly concerned about changes in youth behaviour, disrespect, aggression, isolation and other troubling behaviours. Those concerns deserve serious attention. But before we simply blame young people, perhaps we should look more closely at the environments in which they are growing up.
* What are they consuming digitally for hours every day?
* What messages are being repeated to them?
* Which influencers are becoming their role models?
* Which online communities are making them feel understood, accepted or powerful?
Parents cannot assume that because a child is physically at home, they are protected from harmful influences. The bedroom door may be closed, but the world is coming through the screen.
And today’s teenagers are exceptionally technologically capable. Many know how to navigate settings, create accounts, move between platforms and find ways around restrictions. Parents, therefore cannot rely solely on technology to protect their children. Parental controls and filters are important, but they are only one layer of protection. Parents must take back their role as parents.
The internet should not become the authority in our children’s lives. We should not allow anonymous influencers, algorithms or online communities to teach our children their values, their worth, their relationships or how they should view themselves.
Schools have a role to play. Governments have a role to play. Technology companies have a responsibility as well. But parents have a responsibility that no algorithm can replace.
We need digital literacy education that goes beyond teaching children how to operate a computer. They need to understand manipulation, algorithms, online radicalisation, unhealthy communities, cyberbullying, unrealistic beauty standards and the difference between entertainment and harmful messaging.
We also need parents to become more comfortable having uncomfortable conversations.
Ask questions.
* Listen without immediately judging.
* Know the platforms your children are using.
* Know the language they are using.
* Know the influencers they follow.
And don’t wait until there is a crisis before becoming involved.
As parents navigating this situation, we consider ourselves fortunate that we noticed changes early enough to start asking questions. That experience taught me something I believe every parent needs to understand:
The router in our home is no longer simply a device that connects us to the internet. It is a gateway into our children’s world. That gateway needs boundaries.
Our children deserve some privacy as they grow, but this privacy cannot mean complete isolation from parental guidance. Trust should be built alongside responsibility. Access should come with age-appropriate boundaries. And when a child’s behaviour changes noticeably, parents should not be afraid to investigate. This is not about spying on our children. It is about parenting them in the environment in which they actually live.
The old saying still applies: “Better they cry now than we cry later.” Setting limits may make our children angry. Monitoring their devices may lead to arguments. Taking away access may result in tears and accusations that we are being unfair.
But sometimes being a parent means accepting that your child may not like the decision you are making for their protection, and I have done just that.
Trust is a privilege, and at home I have always reiterated that “I trust you until you show me that I cannot trust you or the choices you make”. Now my trust, which I guard as precious, must be earned back as a form of accountability because actions have consequences, as well as taking responsibility for choices and decisions made.
As a parent my stern consequences are now in place with the full support of the other parent in the household and these will very gradually be reduced as trust is earned back through making good choices, learning, and consistently good internet usage habits, and as maturity is appropriately and consistently displayed. But it does not mean that after this segment is over, that it will be business as usual. Our continued monitoring will remain in high-vigilance mode.
We must realise that the internet is not going away. Artificial intelligence is not going away and social media platforms are not going away.
So, our responsibility is not to pretend these technologies do not exist.
Our responsibility is to make sure our children are prepared to navigate them without losing themselves in the process. And even if they are well prepared, we must still remain on high alert.
* It is time to pay attention.
* It is time to ask questions.
* It is time to look beyond the screen.
It takes a village to raise a child and government, schools, internet providers and technicians need to step up and enforce this village to protect our children, our community and our country.
Because the most dangerous influence on our children may not be outside the home at all. It may already be sitting in their hands.
A Concerned Parent
