Dear Queenie,
I found out that my husband’s parents are first cousins and he is very upset about it. I haven’t told his parents that I found this out about them.
Queenie, should I say something to them or let them keep their secret even though we already know about it?—I know the truth
Dear Know the truth,
I wonder whether your in-laws are “keeping their secret” or just do not think it is anything worth talking about. Marriage between first cousins is legal in many places and permitted under special circumstances in others. In biblical times it was quite common.
Tell your husband’s parents what you found out and let them discuss it with their son so he can stop being upset about it.
Dear Queenie,
I got married 20 years ago when I was still a teenager and now my children are in high school and college and I would like to do some of the things I never had a chance to do when I was their age.
Queenie, is that wrong?—All grown up now and growing old
Dear Grown-up,
If what you want to do is have some fun, and your husband is not interested, you could still go out with some of your women friends.
You could also join a women’s sports club or a book club.
If you did not finish high school, you might consider working to get your GED (general education diploma). Doing that would be very interesting in itself, and would provide interesting opportunities.
Dear Queenie,
I received a wedding invitation that said “No gifts, please” but I still would like to give them something.
Any suggestions, Queenie?—Wedding guest
Dear Guest,
A donation to the happy couple’s favourite charity, or a gift certificate for dinner for two at their favourite restaurant (after the COVID-19 restrictions are over), or a cheque for the amount you would otherwise have spent on a gift would probably be welcome in spite of the restriction on the invitation.
Dear Queenie,
We have a swimming pool in our backyard. There is a high fence all around the yard, but my husband likes to leave the gates open and I’m afraid some of the children in the neighborhood might come in and try to swim or just fall into the pool and drown.
I explained all this to him, but he still leaves the gates open.
Queenie, how can I get him to be more careful?—Worried wife
Dear Wife,
Is there any kind of law or official rule about swimming pool safety where you live? If so, have some official person(s) come and talk to your husband about this behaviour. Maybe an official warning or even a fine might convince him to be more careful.
Meanwhile, get some locks for the gates and keep the keys where your husband cannot find them.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter is angry and critical about everything all the time. She is taking medicine for a medical condition she has and I think the medication is the reason she behaves this way.
Queenie, what do you think?—Worried father
Dear Father,
I think you and/or your daughter should consult the doctor who prescribed her medication and ask him (or her) your questions.
