Dear Queenie,
My sister thinks I eat too slow and I think she eats too fast. She says it’s rude to make everyone else wait while you eat and I say it’s not healthy to gobble up your food as fast as you can.
Queenie, who is right?—Eating Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
You are both right. If dawdling over your food makes everyone else wait for you to finish, tell them to go ahead and have dessert and not wait for you. But gobbling up your food too fast can make you eat too much, which is why dieting experts advise against doing so. Try to find a “happy medium” speed.
Dear Queenie,
I’m 14 and there’s a boy I like who likes me and we would like to start going out together, but my parents won’t let me start dating until I am 16.
I tried to talk to my parents about his but they wouldn’t listen to me.
Queenie, how can I get them to let me date this boy if he asks me?—Frustrated teenager
Dear Teenager,
For the time being, concentrate on obeying your parents’ rules, doing any chores they give you and doing well in school. You can arrange to see this boy you like in groups, and give your parents a chance to get to know him as your friend among other friends.
When your parents think you are ready for dating they will let you know, but if you press them to make it sooner that will just make them take longer to reach that stage.
Dear Queenie,
My wife and I are retired. Her daughter is a successful businesswoman who has a habit of dropping in to visit while we are having dinner. We have invited her to join us, but she doesn’t eat with us, she just sits there and chats.
Queenie, isn’t this rude?—Annoyed stepfather
Dear Stepfather,
If your stepdaughter expects you to stop eating to visit with her, yes, it is rude. But if she expects you to go on eating while she visits with you but chooses not to eat, I do not see any real problem.
Dear Queenie,
I have something different about me that people sometimes comment on or ask me about.
Queenie, what’s a good answer to give to such personal questions?—Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Just tell them something along the lines of “That’s just the way I am.” And feel free to let the expression on your face or your tone of voice show it if you are offended by the question.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I live together in his house. I pay my own bills and I help pay the mortgage but he owns the house alone. I’m afraid I might lose my job and not be able to help pay the mortgage.
Queenie, shouldn’t I be able to expect him to help me out if I lose my job?— Worried girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
If you were married or at least officially engaged to this man, yes, you should be able to expect him to help you out when things get rough. However, because you are not officially married or engaged he apparently feels no obligation and it is not certain that you will ever see any benefit from helping him out with his mortgage other than having a place to live for the moment.
Talk this over with him, if you have not done so already, before you give him any more money. It is possible that he simply considers the money you give him for the mortgage as “rent”.
