Dear Queenie,
My teenage daughter is all excited because she got pregnant with her boyfriend and is going to be a mother herself. I don’t know what to say to her – that she is going to ruin her life, or that I’m going to love being a grandmother, or what?
Queenie, help!—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
Do not tell your daughter she is going to ruin her life. That is not helpful and may not be true.
Your job now is to be as supportive as you can, and above all to encourage her to continue her education and to help her to do so, so that she will be as well-prepared as possible to take care of herself and her child when you no longer can help her with that – and may even need her to help take care of you too.
Dear Queenie,
I’m a girl going into my teens. My father has always been very affectionate, rubbing my back, kissing and hugging me and all like that, but it’s starting to make me feel very uncomfortable when he does it.
Queenie, should I ask him to stop? I don’t want him to think I don’t love him anymore.—Worried teenager
Dear Teenager,
Tell your father you still love him, but you are not a little girl anymore and you don’t like all the physical contact, and ask him to stop or at least do a lot less of it. And if that does not solve your problem, talk about it with your mother or some other adult you trust and ask for their help.
Dear Queenie,
Very often when I am visiting with someone they will interrupt the conversation to answer a call or a text message on their cell phone.
Queenie, I find this very rude. What is a good way to handle it?—Cell phone Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
It is okay to tell the person – calmly, quietly, politely! – “I wish you wouldn’t do that.” And, of course, be sure you never do it to anyone else.
Dear Queenie,
When you are staying overnight with someone and they get their newspaper delivered early in the morning and you get up before they do, is it okay for you to bring in the paper and read it before they get up?
Queenie, my husband says this is very rude.—Early Riser Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
As long as you finish with the paper before your host(s) get up, and you leave it in its original condition (for example, do not do the crossword puzzle!), I see no problem. But to be certain, ask your host(s) whether they mind if you read the paper before they see it.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years. We don’t have any children together, but he has 2 from his previous marriage who have been with us since the youngest was just a baby and their mother hasn’t even tried to have anything to do with them since they have been with us.
The kids all call me “Mama” but they know I’m not their birth mother and sometimes I worry about what to do if they ever try to get in touch with her.
Queenie, how should I handle that if it happens?—Worried stepmother
Dear Stepmother,
If the children ask for information about their birth mother, tell them as much as you can. It is natural for children to be curious about their birth parents, but that does not mean they will love you any less.
