Dear Queenie,
I met a man at a store where I go shopping a lot and he asked me out. I like him a lot, but he’s 24 and I’m only 17 and when he found out I’m underage he thought I’m a cop and going to arrest him for trying to have sex with me.
Queenie, how can I prove that I’m not the police and he can trust me?—Teenage girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
Police officers are older than 17 and this man should know that. It could just be an excuse to break up with you.
Let him go, try to find someone closer to your own age, and if you meet up with this guy a few years from now when the age gap does not matter so much, see what happens.
Dear Queenie,
I’m 16 and there’s this boy I think I’m in love with and he says he loves me too.
Queenie, am I too young for this to be the real thing? How can I tell if this is real love or just a teenage crush?—Confused teenager
Dear Teenager,
When you are really “in love” you will have no doubts about how you feel. Also, “real love” can stand the test of time. If you and this boy still feel the same way about each other a few years from now, when you are out of school and legally old enough to get married, you will not have to ask me this question.
Meanwhile, try to enjoy this part of growing up.
Dear Queenie,
After my husband died my mother said I should stop wearing my wedding ring because I’m not married anymore.
Queenie, is she right?—Grieving Widow
Dear Widow,
You may wear your wedding ring as long as you like, especially if it gives you comfort in your time of loss.
However, if and when you are ready to start socialising again and open to the possibility of developing a new relationship, you might want to put it away, or at least not wear it on your hand – perhaps on a chain around your neck?
Dear Queenie,
My daughter isn’t interested in girl toys like dolls or clothes like dresses, she prefers boys’ toys like cars and trains and clothes like pants and T-shirts.
Queenie, how should we handle this?—Worried parents
Dear Parents,
I suspect your question is really about your child’s sexual orientation. That is something that is inborn and nothing you can do now or later can change it.
However, the way you treat your child now will affect her all her life. It is important that she feels loved and accepted for whoever she is and supported in whatever her interests are, even if she prefers sports to art, music and/or dancing.
Dear Queenie,
I have a friend who calls me every night just when I’m getting ready to watch TV or go to bed, and I have to spend an hour or so listening to her tell me about all her problems.
Queenie, I don’t want to be mean, but how do I get her to stop calling so much?—Fed-up friend
Dear Friend,
Tell your friend that you do not want to miss this great TV programme, or that you are tired and need to get some sleep, or that you are expecting an important call from someone else, and ask her to call back tomorrow. Then say “goodbye” and hang up.
And when you do listen to her, suggest that she might benefit from professional counselling that you are not qualified to give her.
