Dear Queenie,

  I was at a funeral and saw someone checking something out on her cell phone. I’ve seen people doing that during a church service too.

  Queenie, isn’t that rude of them? Should I say something when I see things like that?—Cell Phone Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,

  You are right that it is rude to do something like that at such a time and place. However, saying anything to these rude people when you see them doing such things would be even more disruptive at such an event, which would be just as rude or even more so.

  Keep quiet when you see such things happening, but if you have an opportunity =to speak to the rude person after the event – preferably in (relative) private and certainly as politely as you can manage – you can tell them how disturbing you found their behaviour. And try to allow for the possibility that what they were doing was related to some kind of urgent matter or even an emergency.

Dear Queenie,

  My sister thinks I eat too slow and I think she eats too fast. She says it’s rude to make everyone else wait while you eat and I say it’s not healthy to gobble up your food as fast as you can.

  Queenie, who is right?—Eating Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,

  You are both right. If dawdling over your food makes everyone else wait for you to finish, tell them to go ahead and have dessert and not wait for you. But gobbling up your food too fast can make you eat too much, which is why dieting experts advise against doing so. Try to find a “happy medium” speed.

Dear Queenie,

  My parents recently got a water cooler like you see in public places – waiting rooms in doctors’ offices and places like that.

  Queenie, what’s the reason for having something like that in your home when you have a fridge in the kitchen? It’s not like they have a lot of people coming and going all the time.—Puzzled Son

Dear Son,

  Possibly your parents drink a lot of water and do not want to keep going to the kitchen for it, and the cooler saves them a lot of space in the refrigerator.

  You can ask them why, if you want to, but whatever their reason, it is their house and they are the ones living with the cooler – so, cool it, Sonny!

Dear Queenie,

  I’m 14 and there’s a boy I like who likes me and we would like to start going out together, but my parents won’t let me start dating until I am 16.

  I tried to talk to my parents about his but they wouldn’t listen to me.

  Queenie, how can I get them to let me date this boy if he asks me?—Frustrated teenager

Dear Teenager,

  For the time being, concentrate on obeying your parents’ rules, doing any chores they give you and doing well in school. You can arrange to see this boy you like in groups, and give your parents a chance to get to know him as your friend among other friends.

  When your parents think you are ready for dating they will let you know, but if you press them to make it sooner that will just make them take longer to reach that stage.