Dear Queenie,
My parents’ house is full of stuff they have piled up over the years. It’s embarrassing when someone come to visit.
I have offered to help them sort it all out and get rid of some of it, but they won’t even try. They don’t think there is any problem.
Queenie, is there anything I can do about it?—Disgusted daughter
Dear Daughter,
It is your parents’ house and it is up to them how they keep it. There may be a psychological condition known as “hoarding” involved.
If you are still living in your parents’ home, arrange to move out as soon as you can. In the meantime, keep your own part of the home as neat and clean as you can.
Dear Queenie,
I am single and I don’t have any children or any other family near here where I live. I have a cat that has been my best friend and companion for many years, but I know I will lose her sooner or later but I don’t know how I will deal with it when it happens.
Queenie, can you help me?—Love my cat
Dear Love my cat,
I know just how you feel. It is a sad thing that our pets have so much shorter life spans than we do.
I too have a cat – in fact, more than one. I make it a point to always have two, an older one and a younger one (not a kitten, just younger). When the older one dies, the younger one is there with me to comfort me – and I can tell by its behaviour that it also misses the one that is gone.
Soon after the sad event, I will adopt another, even younger, cat (not a kitten) to keep us both company. Please note: I always adopt my cats from an animal welfare group, and take comfort in knowing that the loss of my older cat has resulted in a benefit for one in need of a good home. That does not make up for the loss I (we) have suffered, but it does ease the pain a little.
Dear Queenie,
I have six kids under the age of 8 years. A woman I know from church has offered to babysit sometimes so my husband and I can go out on a “date”.
My problem is I don’t think she knows what she would be getting into, looking after a bunch of kids like that.
Also, I like being with my husband, but I would rather just have some time alone by myself.
Queenie, what do you suggest?—Stressed-out mother
Dear Mother,
Before you let this woman babysit, have her come to your house for a few hours to see just what she would be getting into. Perhaps she could arrange to have someone else come with her to help.
Then, perhaps you could arrange for her/them to babysit sometime when your husband is otherwise occupied – for instance, while he is at work – and you can simply go out somewhere by yourself. Or, if she/they can babysit somewhere else than your home, you can even just stay at home resting.
Dear Queenie,
I’m in high school and I have a lot of friends, but all they talk about is boys and dating, and some of them drink beer and liquor or do drugs.
Queenie, I would like to have an exciting life, but I don’t want to get into any trouble. Help!—Bored teenager
Dear Teenager,
Community service can be exciting. Contact some of the local service organisations – Kiwanis, Rotary, Lions, or Jaycees, for example, or, if you like animals, an animal welfare organisation – and learn what opportunities there are for you to spend time volunteering with one of them.
I guarantee, you will find excitement.
Dear Queenie,
My elderly mother-in-law lives with us. She has some health problems and her memory has started to get bad but she can still make normal conversation.
Some friends who visited us recently tried to tell us there is nothing wrong with her, but they don’t know about the kind of things she does, like leaving the water running all the time or almost starting a fire because she left the stove burning.
Queenie, how do I make them understand how things really are?—Caretaker daughter-in-law
Dear Daughter-in-law,
Probably they will not understand unless/until they are in a similar position. Meanwhile, just tell them they do not know everything that goes on in your home regarding your mother-in-law. And you could show them this column and tell them you are the letter-writer.
