Dear Queenie,
I have married children and grandchildren and my boyfriend doesn’t like it that some of my children’s wives and husbands call me “Mother-in-law” instead of something like “Mom” or “Grandma” or even just my given name.
Queenie, what should I tell him?—Elderly lady
Dear Lady,
This is really none of your boyfriend’s business. It is up to you and you alone to like or dislike the way your young in-laws speak to you. Tell your boyfriend as politely as you can manage to back off and mind his own business.
And I must add a word of caution: Your boyfriend seems to be rather bossy and controlling. Think carefully about that.
Dear Queenie,
I’m the youngest kid in my family and my brothers and sisters are all a lot older than I am and when they go out to do things they won’t take me along because they say I’m too young.
Queenie, is this right? What can I do about it?—Baby brother
Dear Baby brother,
Your siblings are not responsible for your social life or for entertaining you. Things will get better as you get older, but in the meantime keep occupied with friends your own age, school activities and youth organisations. Doing so will keep you busy, and it also will make you more interesting to your older siblings.
Dear Queenie,
My son’s wife lets their toddler daughter run around naked in the house, even when there are visitors.
Queenie, what do you think about this?—Worried Grandma
Dear Grandma,
I do not think this is a problem with a toddler when only immediate family (parents, siblings, grandparents) are present, but children (boys as well as girls) should be taught that it is inappropriate (possibly even dangerous!) when other people are there and even with immediate family as they get older.
And everyone reading this should bear in mind that there have been times when someone’s immediate family member has turned out to be a child-molester.
Dear Queenie,
My future mother-in-law is very hard to get along with. Even her own children, including my fiancé, have problems with her. My mother says I should try to at least be polite to her, but it isn’t easy.
Now she says it will cost too much for her and her husband, my fiancé’s father, to come to our wedding. I don’t care, but my fiancé does.
Queenie, how do I handle this?—Worried fiancée
Dear Fiancée,
Always be as polite as you can to your future mother-in-law. Your fiancé should tell her and his father how much he would like them to be at your wedding, and you should be ready to give him your full support no matter what they decide to do.
Dear Queenie,
My sister is still fairly young (in her 40s) but her hair is starting to turn gray. I have suggested several times that she should have it dyed, but she won’t be bothered. Her birthday is coming up soon and I would like to give her a home kit for coloring your hair or a gift certificate for a hairdresser to do it.
Queenie, what do you think of this idea?—Younger sister
Dear Younger sister,
I do not think this is a good idea.
Your sister has made it clear that she is not interested in changing the natural colour of her hair, even if it is going grey, and I doubt she would make any use of such a gift – except to return or donate the kit, or cash in the gift certificate. So, you might as well save yourself the money such a gift would cost – or buy her something else that she would appreciate, or just give her the cash.
