Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend and I have been together for many years and we have a very good relationship except for one problem. I like to socialize and spend time with friends, but if I find a new friend my girlfriend will start to say mean things about them and make me feel bad about spending time with them. Often it’s easier to give up a friendship than to argue about it.
Queenie, is there anything I can do about this?—Friendly guy
Dear Friendly guy,
Apparently your girlfriend has feelings of insecurity.
The next time she starts saying mean things about a friend of yours, offer to take her along to share the fun when you go to meet with them. Then, if she will not join you, go without her and enjoy yourself.
Dear Queenie,
I joined an organization just after college and it demanded so much of my time that it was hard for me to meet women or date them. Most of my life there was spent helping colleagues take care of their emotional, financial and professional problems.
Now I am retired I would like to find a “special someone” but I can’t get women to date me because they say I won’t know how to adjust to their needs because I have no dating history.
Queenie, I keep fit, am healthy and reasonably attractive. How can I get women to take a chance with me?—Discouraged
Dear Discouraged,
You apparently spent your professional career counselling your colleagues. Now it seems the counsellor needs to consult a dating counsellor.
You might mention to those who complain about your lack of “history” that you have no ex-wives or -girlfriends to cause problems in future relationships. Sensible women will consider this an asset and those who do not are probably not worth your time.
I wish you good luck. And do I have to warn you to beware of scammers?
Dear Queenie,
My husband has a good job and is healthy and he helps me around the house all he can and runs errands for me.
I give him back rubs and cook his favorite food and give him little gifts, but he never does anything romantic like buy me flowers or take me out for a fancy dinner.
Queenie, how can I get him to be more romantic?—Not feeling loved
Dear Not feeling loved,
Your husband is showing his love by everything that he is doing for you. That is the kind of person he is, and trying to get him to be more “romantic” probably will not work. Instead, try to accept him as the kind of person he is and appreciate everything he does do for you.
Dear Queenie,
My wife and I both have full-time jobs and are not interested in children, so we have decided not to have any. The problem is her mother, who says if we don’t have children she will not leave us anything in her will. We will not give in to her, but we don’t know how to handle this matter with her.
Queenie, should we cut her off or go on arguing with her about it and just try to ignore her behavior?—Fed-up son
Dear Son,
You might try pointing out to your mother-in-law that people who do not want children usually do not make good parents, and that having children just so you can get an inheritance from her would not be fair to the children.
Just keep saving your money so you will not have to depend on anything you might (or might not) inherit from your mother.
Dear Queenie,
A relative of my wife’s got married in a small civil ceremony a couple of years ago. We were there and gave them a card and a check.
Now they want to have a church ceremony and a big reception.
Queenie, We don’t want to be rude. If we go, do we have to give them another check?—Second wedding Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
You have already given this couple a wedding gift, so you are not obligated to give another. However, if you want to, you can give them a card and a small gift of some sort.
