Dear Queenie,
My parents have started going out partying all the time and leave me to babysit my younger sisters. When I tried to talk to them about it they just say they are tired of raising kids (they are going on 50 and have 3 kids older than me and 2 younger) and it’s about time they could go out and have some fun.
Queenie, how can I get them to realize they aren’t done raising children yet? What will happen to the younger ones when I go away to university?—Worried middle kid
Dear Middle kid,
Try to get some older person your parents respect – a relative, one of your teachers, your family doctor, a school counsellor, your pastor if yours is a church-going family – to talk to them and remind them of their responsibilities.
If they can afford it, your parents should hire someone to look after the younger children, and they should do it soon so the person can get acquainted with the children and the whole family before it is time for you to go away.
Dear Queenie,
I always thought my parents liked my boyfriend, but now we’re engaged they say he’s not good enough for me and anyway we’re too young to get married (we’re both in our 20s).
Queenie, I thought they would be happy for me. What is their problem?—Unhappy fiancée
Dear Fiancée,
Your parents may be afraid they are going to lose you if/when you get married. Perhaps a trusted family member or friend can find out what (if any) real objections they have to your getting married, and whether their objections have any validity.
I hope in the end they will be happy for you and welcome your new husband into the family.
Dear Queenie,
I’m the youngest kid in my family and my brothers and sisters are all a lot older than I am and when they go out to do things they won’t take me along because they say I’m too young.
Queenie, is this right? What can I do about it?—Baby brother
Dear Baby brother,
Your siblings are not responsible for your social life or for entertaining you. Things will get better as you get older, but in the meantime keep occupied with friends your own age, school activities and youth organisations. Doing so will keep you busy, and it also will make you more interesting to your older siblings.
Dear Queenie,
I have married children and grandchildren and my boyfriend doesn’t like it that some of my children’s wives and husbands call me “Mother-in-law” instead of something like “Mom” or “Grandma” or even just my given name.
Queenie, what should I tell him?—Elderly lady
Dear Lady,
This is really none of your boyfriend’s business. It is up to you and you alone to like or dislike the way your young in-laws speak to you. Tell your boyfriend as politely as you can manage to back off and mind his own business.
And I must add a word of caution: Your boyfriend seems to be rather bossy and controlling. Think carefully about that.
Dear Queenie,
My future mother-in-law is very hard to get along with. Even her own children, including my fiancé, have problems with her. My mother says I should try to at least be polite to her, but it isn’t easy.
Now she says it will cost too much for her and her husband, my fiancé’s father, to come to our wedding. I don’t care, but my fiancé does.
Queenie, how do I handle this?—Worried fiancée
Dear Fiancée,
Always be as polite as you can to your future mother-in-law. Your fiancé should tell her and his father how much he would like them to be at your wedding, and you should be ready to give him your full support no matter what they decide to do.
