Dear Queenie,
I volunteer with a local organization that meets after work several days a week and lots of times some of us go out for supper together. The problem is a person who joined us recently. We like them and enjoy talking to them, but they have bad breath, I mean really awful. At first we thought they had just eaten something that caused the bad breath, but it’s always the same so that can’t be it.
Queenie, should we write them an unsigned note and slip it into their bag when they’re not looking, or what else could we do?—Can’t stand it, especially when we’re eating!
Dear Can’t stand it,
Do not leave this person an unsigned note. They will just worry about who wrote it. Carry breath mints with you, take one yourself and offer them to everyone.
It is possible that this person has some kind of medical or dental problem that is causing the bad breath. Having the mints and some water handy all the time should help. If it does not, you would be doing this person a favour if you spoke to them privately and explained the problem.
Dear Queenie,
I’m going to college in the place where I live and I’m living at home with my parents to save money, but they still treat me like a kid, so as soon as I graduate I’m going to get a job and move out. My parents don’t want me to go and they offered to let me go on living with them rent-free after I graduate.
Queenie, how can I get them to understand I mean what I say?—Grown-up daughter
Dear Daughter,
Your parents will understand that you mean what you say about leaving their home when they see you moving out. Start saving up a “moving fund” and looking for job opportunities and a place you will be able to afford, because once you move out it is not likely that your parents will be willing to help you out financially.
Dear Queenie,
I’m almost 70 and starting to feel my age, but my children who have full-time jobs expect me to look after their children all day every day. I love my grandchildren, but it’s getting to be too much for me.
Queenie, do you have any suggestions?—Tired grandmother
Dear Grandmother,
What about your children’s in-laws? Can they help out with the children?
There must be day-care and after-school programmes in your community, and some of them should be low-cost or even free of charge.
There should be options that will give you some relief, at least part-time.
Dear Queenie,
We live in a residential area and recently found out that one of the neighbors is running an Internet porn site from their home. None of the rest of us want anything to do with that kind of thing.
Queenie, is there anything we can do about it?—Offended neighbors
Dear Neighbors,
Home-based businesses are usually okay unless there are employees and/or customers coming to the home. A business licence may be needed, but often that is all, depending on the local laws.
A local lawyer can answer your legal questions and tell you what – if anything – you can do about this matter.
I am sorry I cannot be more help.
Dear Queenie,
The people who live in the apartment next to us fight all the time, not just loud arguments, but shouting and screaming, terrible language they use on each other, things getting broken (we can hear them getting smashed) and it goes on for hours.
Queenie, is there anything we can do about all this?—Fed-up neighbours
Dear Neighbours,
You can leave a note in their mailbox telling them their noise is disturbing you. Do not sign your names, just “your neighbours”. If that does not solve the problem, you can complain to your landlord, and if that is not enough and you have reason to think someone actually got hurt, you could even call the police during one of these upheavals.
