Dear Queenie,
I’m a teacher and at the end of the school year I often get gifts from my students and their parents. One of those parents is a beautician and she gave me a gift certificate for work at the beauty salon where she works.
Queenie, when I use the certificate, should I tip her? Usually I would, but would I be insulting her because this was a gift?—Tipping Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
If the person who gives you service on the gift certificate is not the person who gave you the gift certificate, yes, you should give them a tip. But if the gift-giver is the one who gives you service, she might be insulted if you try to give her a tip.
You would do better to write her a “thank you” note after you use the certificate and tell her how much you appreciate her gift.
Dear Queenie,
When I ask the woman I’m dating about something that requires a big decision, she says she can’t decide now because she doesn’t know how things will be in 5 or 10 years.
Queenie, how can anyone know how things will be in the future? Obviously, the decisions we make now will have an effect on that. What’s the matter with her?—Puzzled boyfriend
Dear Boyfriend,
What kind of questions are you asking? Do they require that your girlfriend make some sort of commitment to you that she is trying to avoid?
Or could it be that she wants a commitment from you before she makes her decision?
Dear Queenie,
My wife is a very critical person and my daughter doesn’t get along with her because of it. At the moment she is not speaking to my wife because of some comment my wife made.
Queenie, is there any way I can get them to get along with each other?—Husband in the middle
Dear Husband,
Your wife and your daughter will both have to want to change things and it probably will require professional counselling for them to do so. Meanwhile, you should stay out of these things and try to keep them apart as much as possible.
Dear Queenie,
My husband has a daughter from a previous marriage, but his ex-wife doesn’t ever let their daughter see her father, my husband. She lets the girl visit her grandfather, my husband’s father, but grandpa doesn’t let us know when the girl is with him so we can get to see her too.
Queenie, is there anything we can do about this?—Angry step-mother
Dear Step-mother,
Grandpa probably keeps his granddaughter away from you and your husband because he is afraid that if he lets you see her, her mother will stop letting her spend time with him.
And, if her mother is preventing the child from ever seeing her father, Dad should consult a lawyer about legally arranging visitation.
Dear Queenie,
For my birthday my brother gave some money to a friend of ours and told them to give it to me and tell me it was a birthday present from him (my brother). When I said something about that not being the way to give someone a gift my brother got mad and now he won’t talk to me at all.
Queenie, was I wrong to object?—Angry sister
Dear Sister,
I do not blame you for being annoyed about the impersonal way your brother sent you his gift. He should at least put the money in an envelope with a birthday card or a short note. However, at least he remembered your birthday – possibly at the last minute and did not have time for those amenities.
