Dear Queenie,
My former boyfriend used to give me jewelery on my birthday and Christmas and other special occasions. We broke up a while ago and now he has a new girlfriend and occasionally I see them together when I go out somewhere.
Sometimes when I am getting dressed to go out I wonder if it would be okay for me to wear something he gave me if I think I am going to be seeing the two of them.
And if I do, Queenie, what should I say if someone asks me where I got that thing? I don’t want to embarrass him or his new girlfriend.—Uncertain
Dear Uncertain,
It might be best if you do not wear one of your ex’s gifts when you think you will be seeing him and his new girlfriend. But if you do, and anyone asks you about it, just tell them it was a gift from a friend without specifying who that friend was.
Dear Queenie,
My brother and sister and I have just figured out that our parents do not give all of us the same allowance. We are only about a year apart in age and we don’t understand why we don’t all get the same amount and we would like to know why they do this.
Queenie, should we just ask them?—Confused siblings
Dear Siblings,
Yes, you can ask them, but do so in a peaceful, polite, non-argumentative way.
My guess is that the differences are based on your various ages and what your parents understand your respective needs to be. They also may be related to the differences in how each of you conforms to your parents’ rules and performs assigned chores.
Dear Queenie,
A girl I know and her boyfriend just can’t keep their hands off each other. Even in church they hold hands and hug and kiss each other. Everyone laughs at them behind their backs, but no one ever says anything to them about the way they behave.
Queenie, shouldn’t someone tell them how (not) to behave in public?—Distracted parishioner
Dear Distracted,
If this couple’s behaviour is as disruptive as you say, surely the clergyman or -woman conducting the service has noticed and that is the one who should have a word with this couple and counsel them about proper behaviour in public in general and particularly in church.
Dear Queenie,
My college reunion will be happening soon and I can’t decide whether I should go. The man who was my boyfriend in college will be there with the woman he met and married after we broke up and when I see them I try to be friendly, but I just can’t do it even though I’ve had a good life since then.
Queenie, should I go?—His ex
Dear Ex,
You should only go if you can behave pleasantly when you see your ex-boyfriend and his wife. If you decide to go, practise in advance what you will say to your ex and his wife when you see them, and plan to socialise with everyone else as much as you can.
Dear Queenie,
A man I’ve been dating is very smart, has a good job and plenty of money and mostly he is very kind, but he won’t spend a penny on anyone else. He won’t even give his own mother a gift or take her out for dinner on Mothers’ Day or her birthday, never mind spending money on anyone else.
Queenie, should I remember the good things about him and stick with him or should I look for someone else?—Dating a tightwad
Dear Dating,
Being thoughtful is a good thing, but being stingy, even miserly, is another thing entirely. You can remain friends with this man as long as you do not expect too much from him, but romantically speaking, you should look elsewhere.
