Dear Queenie,
When people write to you for help why do you almost always tell them to get professional counselling? What kind of help is that when all they want is a simple answer for their question?
Queenie, why don’t you just tell them what they want to know?—Faithful reader
Dear Faithful reader,
All too often – most of the time! – there is no simple answer for the questions I am asked. Solving such problems will require guidance of a professional nature – for example, legal, medical, psychological or financial, among other topics – that I am not qualified to give and/or cannot offer briefly in a newspaper column.
And I thank you for reading my column and for asking a question that I can answer briefly in this column.
Dear Queenie,
Is it ever okay to yawn in public? My husband thinks yawning is a natural thing. I don’t.
Queenie, what do you think?—Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Unless one is simply exhausted, a yawn is an indication of boredom, of lack of interest in a conversation or social activity, and one should try not to do it in the presence of others.
Dear Queenie,
My son is very smart and at his school that makes him a victim of bullies, kids that are not as smart as he is. His teachers didn’t help him with the bullies so I talked to the principal but things just kept getting worse. All this business with distance learning has helped a little, but when my son is actually in school things are still bad. They get on his case because he is the “teacher’s pet”.
Queenie, what more can I do about this?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
Talk to the teacher and the principal again, and if that does not help, talk to the school board. As a last resort, you could consult a lawyer, because the school has an obligation to deal effectively with this sort of problem.
You should also consider sending your son to a different school, possibly a private school if you can afford it or can get some help with the expense.
Dear Queenie,
I am very uncomfortable in large groups, but I manage to get along on special occasions like birthday parties and holidays with family. However, some of my relatives think I would be alright if I just tried harder.
Queenie, how do I make them understand?—Agoraphobic
Dear Agoraphobic,
Some people just do not understand about phobias. A medical professional might be able to explain it to them, if they would listen, but until that happens you will just have to try to ignore the doubters and spend less time with them.
Dear Queenie,
My second husband and I got divorced because he and my teenage son from my first husband just couldn’t get along with each other. We (second (ex-)husband and I) are still on good terms – in fact we still get together quite often, if you know what I mean, and we plan to get married again once my son is grown up and out on his own.
My son found out about us getting together and he is angry about it and his father (my first husband) is no help. In fact, I think he makes things worse by bad-mouthing my second husband to our son when the boy is with him on weekends.
Queenie, can you help me?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
It might help if you can reassure your son that you and your second ex-husband are not going to be living together anytime soon. Professional counselling – for both you and your son, separately and/or together – might help both of you cope with your present situation and with the fact that you and second-ex will eventually get married again.
It is a pity that your first ex-husband cannot remember that he should be able to love his child and consider the boy’s wellbeing more than he dislikes you and/or second-ex.
