Dear Queenie,
Our daughter is on her cell phone all the time texting, even late at night when she should be sleeping and then she can’t wake up in the morning and when she finally gets up it takes her forever to get dressed because she’s on her phone all the time. We have to take her phone away to get her to do her homework.
Queenie, what can we do?—Worried parents
Dear Parents,
You have to set limits on your daughter’s cell phone use and, if necessary, enforce those limits by taking her phone away from her when she does not abide by them – for example, at bedtime and homework-time.
And I hope you do not let her take her cell phone with her when she goes to school.
Dear Queenie,
My father is an alcoholic, cheated on my mother several times and used to abuse me. Now he has been arrested for possession of child pornography and may get sent to prison. My mother never even tried to protect me from him and now she still doesn’t believe he has done anything seriously wrong.
My husband and I have a baby girl and we think we have to protect her from my father even if that means from my mother too, even if it means cutting off from them entirely, but some of the rest of my family don’t agree with that.
Queenie, what do you think?—Worried baby-mama
Dear Baby-mama,
I think your first concern should be your child’s welfare, even if it means cutting your parents out of her (and your) life. As for your other relatives, you cannot please everyone, and, as I said, your child’s welfare must come first.
Dear Queenie,
I’m going to be going into retirement soon and I’m considering moving down south to some place with a warmer climate all year round. But I worry about being in a strange place with no one I know, no friends and nothing to do but maybe watch TV all day, if they even have TV I like to watch.
Queenie, what do you advise?—Growing older
Dear Growing older,
If you can afford it, try visiting the place(s) you are considering for your retirement home, to see what they will offer in terms of housing, entertainment and social outlets. You may even be able to meet some of the local people and make some new friends during these visits.
And when you finally are ready to make your move, I recommend that you rent a home at first, to make sure the place you have chosen really suits you and to have time to explore the real estate market if you decide to make that place your permanent residence.
Dear Queenie,
Our regular babysitter who takes care of our 2 pre-school children while we are at work developed breast cancer a while ago and had surgery for it and now she is having chemotherapy. She wants to continue working, but she has had to take several days off and even when she can work she is too tired keep up with the children, who are very active.
We think she should just take a break from working and we should find someone else to babysit, and if that happens we can’t guarantee that she can come back to work for us when she gets better.
Queenie, we don’t want to just replace her, but we have to do what’s best for the kids. What do you suggest?—Working parents
Dear Working parents,
Talk to your babysitter and ask if she knows anyone who can fill in for her when she is unable to work, or check with an employment agency and see if they have someone who can fill in for her on a temporary basis. If none of that works out, then you can think about replacing her.
Dear Queenie,
We have relatives who like to come and visit us, but because they are on their vacation they don’t do much to help out with the extra work they cause us. We like seeing them, but we wish they would stay for a shorter time and/or somewhere else.
Queenie, we don’t want to hurt their feelings, but what can we do?—Reluctant hosts
Dear Hosts,
Tell them you will be happy to see them, but unfortunately they cannot stay with you, and give them a list of local hotels and guesthouses. And if anyone ends up staying with you, do not be afraid to ask them to help pay for the extra groceries and help with the extra work they cause.
