Dear Queenie,
I’ve been seeing my girlfriend for almost a year now but my parents haven’t met her yet because they are very racist and she is from a different ethnic group than us. When I go out with her I tell them I’m going out with some friends, but I suspect they know that’s not exactly true.
I’m afraid if they meet my girlfriend they will not be very nice to her.
Queenie, is there anything I can do to make things better?—Worried boyfriend
Dear Boyfriend,
Your parents probably wonder why they have not met your girlfriend yet and they may suspect what the reason is.
If your girlfriend does not already know about all this, explain it to her now and tell her you want to introduce her to your folks and hope she is prepared for their reaction. Then let her decide whether she wants to meet them – and whether she even wants to keep on seeing you under these circumstances.
Dear Queenie,
I’m almost 14 years old and I weigh almost 200 pounds and I get bad grades in my gym class and some of the other kids call me “Fatty”.
I want to go on a diet, but my mother won’t let me. She keeps telling me to eat the food she gives me and always makes me finish what’s on my plate, which is always a lot more than I really want.
Queenie, how can I make my mother understand my problem?—Overweight teenager
Dear Teenager,
Someone has to help you convince your mother that you need help. Maybe your teacher or your gym teacher or even the school nurse can talk to her about this.
If that does not help, perhaps when your mother takes you for a check-up your doctor will tell her that you need to lose some weight. If your mother does not take you for regular check-ups, tell her you are feeling ill and ask her to take you to see a doctor, and if she does not do so, tell the school nurse, who surely will call in a doctor and the two of them surely will call your mother.
Hopefully some of these experts can make your mother understand your problem.
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend and I tried living together but it didn’t work out so we separated, but in the meantime we had a daughter. My ex is a great mother and now she has a new boyfriend who is also very good with our daughter and I only get to see my child a couple of times a week on my days off and I wish I could get more time with her but how can that happen unless her mother and I get back together?
Queenie, what can I do?—Father missing my daughter
Dear Father,
It would not be fair to your child’s mother to get back together with her only for the child’s sake. However, she might be more than willing to let you have more time with your child. Talk it over with her and see how she feels about the idea.
Dear Queenie,
Very often someone will tell me how lucky I am to have a wife who loves me so much. I feel like this is an insult, not a compliment, because it’s as if I don’t deserve to have a wonderful marriage and family.
Queenie, what’s a good way to answer them?—Offended husband
Dear Husband,
People who say such things may be thinking about the way things are between them and their spouses. Just smile and say something like, “Yes, we’re lucky to have each other.”
Dear Queenie,
A few years after our daughter was born I found out my husband was cheating on me and we ended up getting divorced and I have custody of our daughter. I’m trying to do the right thing and if I start playing around I could lose custody, but I miss having someone besides a child to share my life with.
Queenie, what can I do?—Lonely mother
Dear Mother,
There is no reason you cannot have a social life, but, as you say, within reason because of your child. If friends and family do not offer you social outlets, consider joining a community-service organisation that will give you something productive to do and will also offer some social outlets. Eventually, if you are lucky, you will meet someone to share your life with in a way that will be socially and legally acceptable.
