Dear Queenie,
My son is very smart and at his school that makes him a victim of bullies, kids that are not as smart as he is. His teachers didn’t help him with the bullies so I talked to the principal but things just kept getting worse. All this business with distance learning has helped a little, but when my son is actually in school things are still bad. They get on his case because he is the “teacher’s pet”.
Queenie, what more can I do about this?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
Talk to the teacher and the principal again, and if that does not help, talk to the school board. As a last resort, you could consult a lawyer, because the school has an obligation to deal effectively with this sort of problem.
You should also consider sending your son to a different school, possibly a private school if you can afford it or can get some help with the expense.
Dear Queenie,
My second husband and I got divorced because he and my teenage son from my first husband just couldn’t get along with each other. We (second (ex-)husband and I) are still on good terms – in fact we still get together quite often, if you know what I mean, and we plan to get married again once my son is grown up and out on his own.
My son found out about us getting together and he is angry about it and his father (my first husband) is no help. In fact, I think he makes things worse by bad-mouthing my second husband to our son when the boy is with him on weekends.
Queenie, can you help me?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
It might help if you can reassure your son that you and your second ex-husband are not going to be living together anytime soon. Professional counselling – for both you and your son, separately and/or together – might help both of you cope with your present situation and with the fact that you and second-ex will eventually get married again.
It is a pity that your first ex-husband cannot remember that he should be able to love his child and consider the boy’s wellbeing more than he dislikes you and/or second-ex.
Dear Queenie,
My brother and sister and I have just figured out that our parents do not give all of us the same allowance. We are only about a year apart in age and we don’t understand why we don’t all get the same amount and we would like to know why they do this.
Queenie, should we just ask them?—Confused siblings
Dear Siblings,
Yes, you can ask them, but do so in a peaceful, polite, non-argumentative way.
My guess is that the differences are based on your various ages and what your parents understand your respective needs to be. They also may be related to the differences in how each of you conforms to your parents’ rules and performs assigned chores.
Dear Queenie,
My former boyfriend used to give me jewelery on my birthday and Christmas and other special occasions. We broke up a while ago and now he has a new girlfriend and occasionally I see them together when I go out somewhere.
Sometimes when I am getting dressed to go out I wonder if it would be okay for me to wear something he gave me if I think I am going to be seeing the two of them.
And if I do, Queenie, what should I say if someone asks me where I got that thing? I don’t want to embarrass him or his new girlfriend.—Uncertain
Dear Uncertain,
It might be best if you do not wear one of your ex’s gifts when you think you will be seeing him and his new girlfriend. But if you do, and anyone asks you about it, just tell them it was a gift from a friend without specifying who that friend was.
Dear Queenie,
My college reunion will be happening soon and I can’t decide whether I should go. The man who was my boyfriend in college will be there with the woman he met and married after we broke up and when I see them I try to be friendly, but I just can’t do it even though I’ve had a good life since then.
Queenie, should I go?—His ex
Dear Ex,
You should only go if you can behave pleasantly when you see your ex-boyfriend and his wife. If you decide to go, practise in advance what you will say to your ex and his wife when you see them, and plan to socialise with everyone else as much as you can.
