Dear Queenie,
My wife and I have been married for many years and have a son in primary school. We are doing well financially and are thinking about having another child so that our son will not grow up to be an only child.
Queenie, what do you think?—Undecided parents
Dear Parents,
If your only reason for having another child is so that your son will not be an “only child”, bear in mind that because of the age difference, your children will not grow up “together” and are not likely to be “close”. However, the decision is yours to make.
Dear Queenie,
When I was in my teens I got into trouble and was put on probation. I served my time and I’ve never been in trouble again.
Queenie, when I am getting to know someone, when do I have to tell them about all this?—Ex-con
Dear Ex-con,
You do not have to mention your conviction to a casual aquaintance. However, if/when a relationship becomes more than casual, you should tell them about it and assure them that it never has been repeated and never will be.
Dear Queenie,
I asked my girlfriend to marry me and picked out a nice engagement ring, but she didn’t like the style and showed me a picture of one she liked better.
Queenie, I’m the one who did the asking and paid for the ring. Shouldn’t I be the one to choose the style? We can choose the wedding rings together. And if she changes her mind about marrying me, does she still get to keep the ring?—Husband-to-be, I hope
Dear I hope,
Your fiancee (I hope) is the one who will be wearing the ring, so the smart thing to do is give her one she likes. And if she changes her mind about marrying you she should not keep the ring.
Dear Queenie,
I’m not married, have a good job and a lot of friends, but my friends are all married and have children and it seems like all they talk about is their kids and they don’t seem interested in hearing anything about me that doesn’t have to do with children and I don’t have any children to talk about.
Queenie, what do you think about this?—Fed-up Friend
Dear Friend,
You are at a different stage of life than your friends and have different things to think about and talk about. Try to be patient with them and take an interest in what is going on in their lives, and then try to steer the conversations into what is going on in your life.
Dear Queenie,
I’m a married man with children in high school, but my marriage is not as good as it used to be and I have been waiting for the kids to be grown up before I do anything about it.
Recently I met up with the woman who was my first girlfriend when I was in high school and she says her marriaage is not so good anymore too and, like me, she is just waiting for the kids to be grown up and out on their own, and we have been seeing each other.
Queenie, do you think we have a chance of making a good life together?—Can’t decide
Dear Can’t decide,
I think you both should stop cheating on your spouses and concentrate on either making your marriages work or honestly breaking them up. Get professional counselling to help you decide whether you want preserve your marriage and, if so, how to do it, or would rather break up your marriage honestly and, if so, how to go about it.
