Dear Queenie,
I’ve met and dated a lot of men but I haven’t met one who has everything it takes to keep me happy with only him.
Queenie, will I ever meet a man who does or am I just doomed to stay single all my life?—Dissatisfied
Dear Dissatisfied,
Perhaps you are asking too much of the men you date – but then, I suspect they could say the same about you.
I doubt you will ever meet a man who has all the qualities you are looking for, so look for one who has many (or most) of them and be prepared to accept the fact that some compromise and acceptance is necessary for any long-term relationship to be successful.
Dear Queenie,
When my daughter and her boyfriend came to visit me I noticed that he never opened a door for her or pulled out a chair at the table for her to sit down. When I spoke to her about it she said that she told him she doesn’t need him to do things like that for her as if she can’t do them herself, so he stopped.
Queenie, what ever happened to common courtesy?—Old-fashioned father
Dear Father,
It seems to have become less common as women’s lib grows stronger, but I agree with you, it is just a matter of common courtesy. In fact, I think courtesy should work both ways, and I often hold a door open for a man, for example.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I are quite well off and have everything we need or even want. All the same, our children – all grown up – keep giving us all sorts of presents on special occasions like birthdays and holidays, and most of the stuff they give us just ends up cluttering our cupboards and closets.
Queenie, how can we make them understand that we would rather just get a nice card and maybe a recent picture of them and/or our grandchildren?—Fed-up Mom
Dear Mom,
Tell them – gently, sweetly – what you have told me. And if they continue to shower you with unwanted “stuff”, you can always thank them for it and then donate it to a charitable organisation that will pass it on to someone who really needs it.
Dear Queenie,
I’m in my 50s and my wife is about 10 years younger. I don’t drink, smoke, gamble, flirt with other women or spend a lot of money, so I don’t understand why for the past few years my wife has just seemed to be turned off by me. When we do things together she is fine, but there is no affection from her.
Queenie, I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this. What can I do about it?—Frustrated husband
Dear Husband,
Have you tried to talk to your wife about this? If she is in her 40s she may be going through menopause, which can have a serious effect on a woman’s libido and other psychological effects as well.
Does your wife have regular medical check-ups? If so, what does her doctor have to say? And if not, she should have a complete check-up right away and, if possible, you should go with her to hear what the doctor says.
If all this does not help you to understand what is happening with her, perhaps a marriage counsellor could help you understand what the problem may be and how to deal with it.
Dear Queenie,
When I was on a bus the other day we were caught in traffic and one of the other passengers started complaining – very loudly – about how long the trip was taking. I just put on my earphones and started listening to music.
Queenie, should I have pointed out that it wasn’t the driver’s fault and asked her politely to please shut up?—Another passenger
Dear Passenger,
It would have been good if you could have moved further away from that loud-mouthed fellow passenger. That not being possible, what you did was quite appropriate. It would not have been a good idea to speak to her, as it probably would just have gotten you involved in an argument with what appears to have been a rather unpleasant person.
