Dear Queenie,
My sister’s husband cheated on her several years ago, but she found out from some friends who saw him with the other woman. My sister didn’t break up with him over this and since then she has been trying to keep their marriage together, but he doesn’t seem to be sorry for what he did and doesn’t seem to have changed his ways and I just don’t like him anymore.
Queenie, how can I manage to be polite to him when the family all get together on holidays or other special occasions?—Angry sister-in-law
Dear Sister-in-law,
I know this will be difficult for you, but keep reminding yourself how much more difficult it was, and probably still is, for your sister. On occasions when your brother-in-law is present, avoid him as much as possible, and when you cannot do so, try to put your thoughts about his behaviour out of your mind and treat him as politely as you can manage – for your sister’s sake.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter married a man from a rich family and since the wedding they have spent a lot of time with his family but don’t have any time for us, her parents, and we hardly ever even hear from them.
We treated this man like one of our own and it’s hard to believe he doesn’t want any relationship with the people who are going to be his children’s (if they ever have any) grandparents.
Queenie, is there anything we can do to make things better?—Lonely in-laws
Dear In-laws,
Keep in touch with your daughter and, through her, with your son-in-law, ask her if you have done anything to offend her or her husband, and hope things will improve when (if) they have children.
Dear Queenie,
My younger sister and I were abused when we were small and now she gets mad over the littlest things. I had some problems too because of the abuse and I saw a counsellor who helped me learn to deal with them.
Queenie, my sister has two little kids and I’m afraid of how her behaviour will affect them. Would it be rude of me to suggest that she talk to someone like I did (a professional counsellor) about her problems?—Worried sister
Dear Sister,
No, it would be a caring thing to do, but your sister may not take it well if she is not ready to admit that she has a problem and needs help. All you can do is hope that someday she will be ready to accept your advice.
Dear Queenie,
I’m married and I have 2 children, but a lot of my friends are still single. Lots of times when they want us to do something together I just don’t have the time for it. I have known some of these friends from when we were small and I met some of them at church or at work and most of them don’t know each other.
Queenie, what’s a good quick way to introduce them all to each other and then let them go on and get acquainted?—Busy wife and mother
Dear Busy,
Tell your various friends that there are some other friends of yours that you think they would like and you would like for them to meet each other. Then invite them all to have a quick snack at a place that is convenient for everyone, introduce them to each other, and hope they will all find new friends in the group.
Dear Queenie,
The other day when I was having a meal at a restaurant I was seated in such a way that I had a clear view of a young woman who was wearing skimpy jeans that were so low that I could see part of her “butt crack”. It really bothered me and I couldn’t enjoy my meal the way I would have liked, and I couldn’t move because there weren’t any other tables available.
Queenie, should I have said something? To whom, the girl or the restaurant manager?—Disgusted
Dear Disgusted,
No, I do not think you should have said anything to anyone. Doing so would just have caused a disturbance for everyone involved. If possible, you should just have moved your chair to change your view, or if not, forced yourself to look in another direction and concentrate on your meal.
