Dear Queenie,

My daughter and I had a quarrel over some little thing some years ago and have not gotten back together since then. Now she is getting married and I would like to attend the wedding and walk her down the aisle but I’m afraid that will not happen if we cannot make things up between us. Her mother and her fiance have talked to her about this, but so far she has not made up our quarrel.

Queenie, is there anything I can do about all this before the wedding?—Estranged father

Dear Father,

Given the stress of planning a wedding, your daughter may not be able to also deal with the complications of her relationship with you, but there is still time – and hope – for reconciliation.

Even if you cannot walk your daughter down the aisle, plan to attend her wedding unless you are specifically told not to do so. Your presence will show her that you still care for her in spite of the friction in your relationship.

Dear Queenie,

My daughter is planning to get married about a year from now. She wants a destination wedding in a place that is very far from where we live. My wife and I do not have a lot of money and we told her how much we can give her toward her wedding, but we can’t afford the trip to where she wants to get married and we refuse to go into debt for it and we told her that, but she just said we should find a way to work it out.

Queenie, I’m afraid this is going to be a problem in our family. What do you suggest?—Not made of money

Dear Not made of money,

Tell your daughter that you will deduct the cost of the trip to her wedding from the amount you are going to give her toward the wedding, and if the cost of the trip is more than you were going to give her, tell her you just cannot afford the trip at all and if she wants to have you there when she gets married she will have to get married closer to where you live.

She probably will have objections to all this, but just tell her as sweetly as you can manage that you are not “made of money”; how much you can afford to spend on all this; that it is up to her to decide how the money will be used; and that whatever she decides, you wish her well.

Dear Queenie,

A friend of mine has very bad breath, so bad that it is uncomfortable to have a conversation with her closer than like across a table.

Queenie, should I say something to her about it?—Holding my breath

Dear Holding,

Yes. Tell her as sweetly as you can manage that she should see her dentist, because bad breath can be a symptom of gum disease which can cause loss of teeth and even bone loss, and can become very painful and expensive to treat.

 Dear Queenie,

My boyfriend and I have been going together for many years and he has asked me to come and live with him in his house. He says he would arrange things so I could stay in his house for the rest of my life if anything happened to him. But what if we broke up for some reason? Then what would I do and where would I go?

Queenie, what should I do? Should I break up with him now while I still have a place of my own?—Can’t decide what to do

Dear Can’t decide,

If you are not ready to move in with this man, just say “No.” You do not have to break up with him over it. If you would want to be married to him before moving in with him, tell him so, and see how he reacts. If he is not ready to make that kind of commitment, you can continue to “go together” with him, but keep your own home and the sense of security it gives you.