Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I have been together for more than 7 years and we have 2 children together, but he has cheated on me, does drugs, can’t keep a job and sometimes he gets abusive and he even got arrested for it one time.
I only stay with him for the kids’ sake, but I’m not sure that is the best thing to do.
Queenie, what do you advise?—Unhappy mother
Dear Unhappy mother,
Staying in a relationship like this “for the kids’ sake” is not the best thing for you to do, for the children or for yourself. I advise you to break up with this man as soon as you can find a way to do so safely.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I are very much in love. We have a lot of the same interests and values except for one thing – I want children and he does not.
If we stay together I will never have children, but if I break up with him I might never find anyone as perfect for me as he is who does want children.
Queenie, please help me decide what to do.—Can’t make a decision
Dear Can’t decide,
I cannot tell you what you should do, but I must point out that there are a lot of things you have to consider here. If you had married this man and only then found out he did not want children, would you have divorced him?
And, the older you get the harder it is to conceive a child. If you break up with him it may take you quite a while to find someone you think is as perfect as your present boyfriend – if you ever do – and who wants children. And even if that comes to pass, there is no guarantee that you will be able to conceive.
But beyond pointing out these factors, I cannot tell you what to do. You will have to make that decision yourself.
Dear Queenie,
When I was a kid my parents wouldn’t let me have any dessert until I had finished the rest of my meal. Now I like to eat my dessert first and then the rest of the food.
I never do this when I am a guest in someone else’s home, but I do it when I go out to eat with friends if it is at a restaurant that will let you order dessert along with all the other food. However, some of my friends think I am being rude.
Queenie, are they right?—Picky eater
Dear Picky eater,
If you know that your friends are being bothered by your eating habit, yes, you are being rude. But if it does not bother them, you have no problem.
Dear Queenie,
My ex-spouse and I are still on good terms. We just sort of grew apart after our children were grown up and moved out on their own. We all still get together on birthdays and holidays.
Queenie, what is a good kind of gift to give an ex on a special occasion like a birthday or Christmas?—Just wondering
Dear Just wondering,
A gift card from their favourite store would be good, or a donation in their name to their favourite charity or other non-profit organisation.
Dear Queenie,
My wife and I are well-off financially and we each have a nice car. When our children come to visit us they expect us to let them use one of our cars. They are good drivers, but they are not on our insurance, and they are also well-off financially so they can well afford to rent a car.
Queenie, are we being unreasonable?—Reluctant parents
Dear Parents,
No, you are not being unreasonable. It would be illegal for them to be driving your car if your insurance would not cover an accident that occurred while one of them was driving it.
