Dear Queenie,
Firstly, thank you for your work that you do.
My question to you today is that I have a friend who says she doesn’t want to be around my fiance, that whenever we link up to not bring him around. When I asked her give me one good reason why, she replied saying she “doesn’t take his spirit, he seems ungeniune.” To me that’s disrespectful of her, but I don’t know if it’s disrespectful and I don’t know what my next plan of action should be in regard to this.
Queenie, please help.—Detoxifying
Dear Detoxifying,
You and your fiance do not have to be together every minute of every day.
Your friend is not being disrespectful, she just does not agree with your fiance’s attitude in certain matters.
Because she does not like him, for whatever reason, just leave him out when you link up with her.
Dear Queenie,
A person I have been friends with since I was a child uses a lot of bad language, including the “F” word. They also have a very loud voice and it’s embarrassing to be with them in public where everybody can hear them.
Queenie, how can I tell them how much they embarrass me?—Their friend
Dear Friend,
Tell them just what you just told me. You will be doing them a favour, so do not feel badly about what you are telling them.
Dear Queenie,
My unmarried teenage daughter has a daughter that her grandmother, my 80-year-old mother, doesn’t know about.
Queenie, should I tell Mom about this or would it be too stressful for her?—Keeping a secret
Dear Keeping a secret,
Your mother may be surprised to learn that you have been hiding from her the fact that she has a great-granddaughter, but she should know about it. Leave it up to her whether she wants to meet her great-grandchild.
Dear Queenie,
I’m getting on in years, in my 70s. I’m the one my family goes to when they have a problem, but it’s getting to be too much for me.
Queenie, would it be selfish of me to tell them it’s time to find soemone else to go to?—Worn-out Grandma
Dear Grandma,
There would be nothing selfish about telling your family your are getting too old and tired to handle the stress of their problems anymore. It would help if you could suggest someone else they could go to with their problems.
Dear Queenie,
My teenage son doesn’t like to visit my mother, his grandmother, because Grandma has a very raspy voice and he is embarrassed by the way she talks.
Queenie, what can we do about this?—His parents
Dear Parents,
This is a teaching moment for you and your son. Ask him how he would feel if someone avoided him just because something about him was unusual.
