Dear Queenie,
We like to have family and friends visit us, but my husband is allergic to a lot of things, including animal dander, so we ask them not to bring their pets with them, but some of them still do it and sometimes the effects last a long time after they are gone.
Queenie, how do we make them understand?—Concerned wife
Dear Wife,
I hope you have an enclosed yard or some place outside your home where the pets can stay while their owners are visiting. If not, try to arrange for such. Otherwise, you will have to strictly enforce your “no pets” rule, even if it means seeming inhospitable at times.
Dear Queenie,
When our baby was born a few weeks early my family and my husband’s were very supportive all the time we were in the hospital, but some of them thought it was rude of us to not want any visitors the first day we got home and some of them won’t have anything to do with us now.
Queenie, we have tried to get them to understand but they are still vexed. What more can we do?—New parents
Dear New parents,
I think your relatives are not very considerate, wanting you to entertain visitors on your first day home from the hospital. Explain to them (again!) that you needed time to settle down and adjust to your new circumstances, and that now they are welcome to visit if they still wish to do so – and if they can do so in a manner that will be pleasant for you and your child.
Dear Queenie,
My very old mother and several of her very old friends still live in their own homes but they don’t drive any more. They could keep in touch by phone, but they don’t for some reason. Maybe they don’t have old-fashioned land lines and don’t know how to use modern cell phones.
Queenie, how can I help my mother?—Concerned daughter
Dear Daughter,
You can help your mother and her friends by making sure they have contact with and transportation to a senior citizens centre and/or a senior citizens help organisation. And be sure she has regular medical check-ups (and her friends too).
Dear Queenie,
I watch a lot of movies on TV and I have always wondered how those sexy actors and actresses control themselves during love scenes.
Queenie, or do they?—Movie fan
Dear Movie fan,
There are some exceptions, but in most cases everything that happens in these love scenes has been planned (and sometimes practised) in advance. That is why it is called “acting”. And remember, when these scenes are filmed there is a whole crew of as many as 20 or 30 people working along with the actors.
Dear Queenie,
A friend of mine got married when she was still in her teens and now she is expecting a baby and she is asking me for advice for some problems, like sexy messages from someone else that she found on her husband’s cell phone.
Queenie, what should I tell her?—Worried friend
Dear Friend,
Apparently your friend’s husband does not attach much importance to his marriage and may not turn out to be a very good parent.
Your friend should talk to her family about all this and ask for their help. She also should start thinking about how she will support herself and her child if her marriage breaks up. Professional counselling could help her work these things out and prepare herself for whatever comes in the future.
