Dear Queenie,

My husband and I do a lot of things with our families, but my husband has a habit of making plans for these get-togethers without talking to me about it.

Queenie, am I wrong to want him to talk to me about it before he makes such plans?—Vexed wife

Dear Wife,

Your husband is not being thoughtful of your feelings. He also ignores the possibility that you may have some ideas about whatever get-together he is planning. He should discuss such matters with you before he makes plans with anyone else.

Dear Queenie,

If you are invited to someone’s engagement party, does that mean you will be invited to their wedding?—Invitation Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,

It should. If you were invited to the engagement party and then not invited to the wedding, whoever is hosting the wedding has committed a very big breach of etiquette.

Dear Queenie,

My wife and I have been married for several years and we have a baby son. I work, my wife is a stay-at-home mother.

I used to play sports several nights a week, but since the baby came I have cut it down to just once, but my wife still gets vexed when I do anything away from her and the baby except going to work. She used to come to my games, but not any more even though there are friends of hers who come to see them. She even doesn’t like it when my friends come to the house to see me if they stay more than a few minutes.

Queenie, is it wrong of me to want to play sports and see my friends?—Harassed husband

Dear Husband,

You should not become isolated from the rest of the world because you are married and a parent, and neither should your wife. Your wife may be jealous of your outside interests because she feels trapped at home taking care of the baby and you are her only adult companion.

If you could take care of the baby one or two nights a week while she takes a break and goes out to see friends and/or family, or even has them come to your house to see her, it might help a lot.

If you cannot agree on something like this, I recommend (as usual) professional counselling.

Dear Queenie,

My boyfriend is good to me but he doesn’t care about my grandchildren. He doesn’t talk to them or play with them when they come to visit me. He is good with them in public and he is good with other people’s kids, but he says he wants peace and quiet in the house. He has 2 children of his own and he doesn’t care if he only hears from them once or twice a year. No one comes to our house to visit and he doesn’t care about that either.

Queenie, should I stay with him?—Lonely girlfriend

Dear Lonely,

Make a list of all the things about your boyfriend that you love and another list of all the things about your boyfriend that bother you. When you compare the two lists you will have the answer to your question.