Dear Queenie,
I went together with a friend of mine to buy an inexpensive gift for another friend of ours, and the friend I shared the gift with wrapped it in fancy expensive paper and ribbons. When the friend we gave the gift to unwrapped it she seemed disappointed that it wasn’t as fancy as the wrappings.
Queenie, did we do something wrong?—Gift-giving Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
You and your gift-giving partner did nothing wrong, but the recipient did. She should have just thanked you for what you gave her, never mind the wrappings.
Dear Queenie,
We have relatives who invite us to their homes on special occasions and (the ones far away) to stay with them when we visit. The problem is that their home is messy and dirty and if it was a restaurant or hotel we would not eat or stay there. We want to spend time with them and we don’t want to offend them.
Queenie, what can we do?—Neatnik
Dear Neatnik,
Those who visit from a distance should stay at a hotel. If you are meeting them for a meal, go to a restaurant. If you must be in their homes, wear washable clothing.
Dear Queenie,
The daughter of one of my relatives got married recently and we were invited to the wedding, but at the wedding they didn’t take time to talk to us and at the reception again they didn’t talk to us very much and we were seated with strangers.
Queenie, should we let it go or should we try to tell them how rude we think they were?—Offended
Dear Offended,
Your relatives’ behaviour at the wedding and the reception was probably due to the stress of the occasion. Unless they are otherwise rude to you, let it go.
Dear Queenie,
My father has a collection of rare coins that I would like to inherit, but he is planning to sell it to some stranger. I offered to buy it from him but for some reason he refused my offer.
Queenie, do you have any suggestions?—Confused son
Dear Son,
Perhaps your father needs the money his collection will bring him, but is reluctant to accept financial assistance from his child(ren). Arrange for some stranger to act as your agent and buy the collection for you. Your father does not need to know that you are actually the buyer.
Dear Queenie,
A long time ago my wife cheated on me and when I found out she said she would stop and we went for counselling, but I still do not know if I can believe her.
Queenie, what more can I do?—Betrayed husband
Dear Husband,
Can you check your wife’s phone and/or email to see whether she is hiding anything from you? If she is, you have reason to be worried, but if she is not, you do not.
Talk to her about this and, if necessary, go back for (or continue) counselling.
