Dear Queenie,
My unmarried teenage daughter has a daughter that her grandmother, my 80-year-old mother, doesn’t know about.
Queenie, should I tell Mom about this or would it be too stressful for her?—Keeping a secret
Dear Keeping a secret,
Your mother may be surprised to learn that you have been hiding from her the fact that she has a great-granddaughter, but she should know about it. Leave it up to her whether she wants to meet her great-grandchild.
Dear Queenie,
My teenage son doesn’t like to visit my mother, his grandmother, because Grandma has a very raspy voice and he is embarrassed by the way she talks.
Queenie, what can we do about this?—His parents
Dear Parents,
This is a teaching moment for you and your son. Ask him how he would feel if someone avoided him just because something about him was unusual.
Dear Queenie,
I am raising 2 children by myself because their father is deceased and I never get any alone time because I can’t afford a babysitter. No one, not family, relatives or friends, ever offers to help, and I am just exhausted.
Queenie, do you have any suggestions?—Worn-out mother
Dear Mother,
Have you ever asked anyone – family, relatives or friends – for help? They are not mind-readers, you know. And check with community service organisations for possible help.
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend and I got together just after she broke up with her former boyfriend and I broke up with my former girlfriend. It wasn’t long before my girlfriend started cheating on me with her ex and then I cheated on her with mine.
We forgave each other and gave each other a second chance, but soon enough she cheated on me again.
Queenie, I can’t go on like this. What can I do?—Betrayed
Dear Betrayed,
Clearly your girlfriend has not gotten over her ex and her relationship with you is not working out for her.
Let her go, and try to find someone else who does not have that kind of baggage.
Dear Queenie,
My parents don’t have any friends or hobbies so they depend on me and my wife and our children for their social life. Our children do a lot of sports and my parents come to all their games, but then they talk all the time about other things so we can’t pay attention to the game. They want us to spend every weekend and holiday with them, so we can’t visit or celebrate just us and our kids, or with my wife’s family.
They are nice people, but sometimes my wife and I would like to be together on an occasion just us and our children and all this is getting to be a problem.
Queenie, how do we get them to let us have some time without them?—Fed-up father
Dear Father,
An occasional dinner with you and your wife and children is reasonable, but your parents’ wishes are excessive; they expect too much of you.
It is okay to tell them “no” sometimes – firmly, but politely – and your wife must agree and stand with you on this. If you can make it stick, your parents will just have to learn to live with the reduced “together” time.
