Dear Queenie,
I get migraine headaches very often and one of my neighbors tries to help by coming over all the time to visit. My husband has asked her to stop, but she still does it.
Queenie, I don’t want to offend her, but how can I get her to leave me alone?—Aching head
Dear Aching head,
Tell this well-meaning neighbour (politely and gratefully!) that she is making your headache worse when she comes to visit when you have a headache, and you will let her know when you feel well enough to visit with her.
Dear Queenie,
My husband wants to have an affair. He hasn’t yet, but he does have contact with other women and doesn’t tell me about it so I have to wonder what is going to happen and it keeps me from feeling affectionate towards him, which makes things worse.
Queenie, what do you advise?—Worried wife
Dear Wife,
Marriage counselling might help. If it does not, you had better start planning how to live on your own, because you may have to do so.
Dear Queenie,
We have always been on good terms with our neighbors and they look after our pets when we go away so they have keys to our house. A couple of months ago the husband made a pass at my wife and she turned him down, but she was very upset about it and since then we haven’t had anything to do with them.
Queenie, should we tell his wife what happened? And should we ask for our keys back?—Offended husband
Dear Husband,
Change the locks on your doors and make other plans for your pets when you go away. If your neighbour’s wife asks why you have done this, tell her. Your friendship with her can go on, but without her husband. And suggest that she have a complete physical examination, in case her husband tried and succeeded with someone else.
Dear Queenie,
My husband keeps telling me he wants us to have children, but he never does anything to help me around the house and things will get worse if I have a baby and even more work to do around the house.
Queenie, is there any chance things will get better if we have children?—Concerned wife
Dear Wife,
I doubt it. Your husband apparently thinks this is a normal way to live. Professional counselling (for both of you) might help you get through to him, but do not depend on that happening.
Dear Queenie,
My mother-in-law has never treated me like one of the family. She very often does not include me in a family event, and she treats my children (her son’s children!) the same way.
My husband thinks I should just put up with all this and not let it bother me, but Queenie, how much can I be expected to take before I just walk away?—Offended daughter-in-law
Dear Daughter-In-Law,
It is up to your husband to make it clear to his mother that you and your children are part of the family and should be treated as such. Things will stay the same until he does so.
Until then, have as little contact with your mother-in-law as possible and when you do see her treat her with respect, as difficult as you may find it.
