Dear Queenie,
My best friend has joined an activity group at school and now the only time I see him is in class or when he’s with that group that I don’t know and I have trouble making new friends because I’m bashful with people I don’t know and my friend doesn’t introduce me to them or try to include me in their activities.
Queenie, I miss hanging out with my friend. What can I do?—Lonesome
Dear Lonesome,
Common interests are often the basis for friendship. You could make an effort to join your friend’s activity group, or another group involved in an activity that interests you. The more you get involved in such interests, the less you will miss your friend – and you will make more friends.
Dear Queenie,
You are most times bombarded by problem questions only. Today I want to say something different.
I was in St. Maarten in the vicinity of the GEBE building not too long ago, hoisting 2 heavy suitcases and sweating like a horse in the hot sun.
I was standing on the curb, heading to my parked car. Many cars stopped voluntarily, and I was not even at a zebra crossing, with offers to let me cross the road and questions of if I was feeling well.
Goodness still exists. Give Jackie his jacket.—Dr. Odongo (Ret.), St. Eustatius.
Dear Dr. Odongo,
I am sure all those courteous motorists will remember you. On their behalf, thank you very much for publicly expressing your appreciation of their courtesy. And I thank you for using my column to do it.
Dear Queenie,
We like to have family and friends visit us, but my husband is allergic to a lot of things, including animal dander, so we ask them not to bring their pets with them, but some of them still do it and sometimes the effects last a long time after they are gone.
Queenie, how do we make them understand?—Concerned wife
Dear Wife,
I hope you have an enclosed yard or some place outside your home where the pets can stay while their owners are visiting. If not, try to arrange for such. Otherwise, you will have to strictly enforce your “no pets” rule, even if it means seeming inhospitable at times.
Dear Queenie,
My wife is usually on the quiet side, but when we go to a party or some such social event she sometimes drinks too much and gets too loud – cheerful, but still drunk.
Queenie, is there anything I can do about it?—Disgusted husband
Dear Husband,
When your wife goes to her doctor for a checkup you can discuss your concerns with her doctor. You could also record her behaviour on your cell phone and show it to her when she is sober so she can “see herself as others see her” – and hope it helps.
Dear Queenie,
When our baby was born a few weeks early my family and my husband’s were very supportive all the time we were in the hospital, but some of them thought it was rude of us to not want any visitors the first day we got home and some of them won’t have anything to do with us now.
Queenie, we have tried to get them to understand but they are still vexed. What more can we do?—New parents
Dear New parents,
I think your relatives are not very considerate, wanting you to entertain visitors on your first day home from the hospital. Explain to them (again!) that you needed time to settle down and adjust to your new circumstances, and that now they are welcome to visit if they still wish to do so – and if they can do so in a manner that will be pleasant for you and your child.
