Dear Queenie,
My ex and I broke up a little while ago, but we have been living together for a while and our lease won’t be up for about a year and for financial reasons I can’t just kick her out.
We didn’t quarrel or anything like that, we’re still on friendly terms, and living together makes it hard for me to get over her.
Queenie, should we stop living together?—Ex-fiance
Dear Ex-fiance,
If seeing your ex-fiancee go on with her life, and perhaps start dating other men, hurts too much, yes, you should not be living together. However, if there are good reasons this situation cannot be changed, you should keep busy with things that have you meeting new people and making new friends.
Dear Queenie,
My mother is almost 90 and she says it’s time for her to die. She won’t take a bath, tries not to eat, doesn’t want to have anyone visit her and tries not to talk to anyone. I have tried to get professional counselling for her but she refuses to go.
Queenie, I am trying to respect her and do things the way she wants but I don’t know what is right for her. What do you suggest?—Worried son
Dear Son,
You – and your brother(s) and/or sister(s) if you have any – should take your mother to a geriatrician (a doctor who specialises in the elderly) for evaluation. She apparently is depressed, but she may also have some physical problem that is also affecting her mentally. Then do whatever the doctor advises.
Dear Queenie,
A couple of people where I work – a man and a woman – take their breaks and go out to eat together. They are both married, but not to each other, and I have to wonder if something more is going on between them.
Queenie, should I say something to our boss?—Concerned co-worker
Dear Co-worker,
If these two people are distracting you from doing your work, you can talk to your boss about that. Otherwise, you should mind your own business.
Dear Queenie,
When I was having dinner with some friends I accidentally spilled something and it made a stain on the woman’s skirt and now she wants me to buy her a new one.
Queenie, I said I was sorry, but I’m not that sorry. Do I have to do what she wants?—Accident Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
You should offer to pay to have the skirt cleaned and the stained removed. And if the stain cannot be removed, then yes, you should offer to buy her a new skirt.
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend and I are both retired and we have been going out together for about a year. My only problem with her is that when we go out she is always looking at other men, younger ones, and this makes me feel uneasy and disrespected.
Queenie, is there any way I can get her to stop?—Unhappy older man
Dear Older Man,
It is as natural for a woman to notice attractive men as it is for a man to notice attractive women. If all she is doing is taking a quick look, you should not let it bother you. However, if she is staring, comparing them to you or even flirting with them, you should let her know that she is hurting your feelings and ask her not to do it when the two of you are together. Her reaction will tell you whether or not you have a serious problem.
