Dear Queenie,
There is one person in a group of us that get together every so often who can’t keep their mouth shut, and most of their talking is bragging about themself and not very interesting to the rest of us.
We can’t just leave this person out because it is the spouse of one of our best friends, but it is really too much.
Queenie, how do you get someone like that to shut up?—Fed up
Dear Fed up,
I cannot think of a gentle or polite way to shut a blabbermouth up.
You could ask the person’s “better half” to have a talk with him (or her) and ask her/him to limit the babble so others have a chance to talk.
Or you could appoint a “moderator” at your get-togethers and the moderator could quietly set a time limit on any one person’s turn to hold the floor. When the time is up, the moderator interrupts if necessary and tells the speaker it is now someone else’s turn. And if someone interrupts a speaker, the moderator tells the interrupter to wait his/her turn to speak. But this is a rather formal way to handle what is probably an informal gathering.
Dear Queenie,
Our son, who is 21 and in college, is dating a girl who is only 16 and still in high school and we think they are having sex.
Her parents seem to be okay with all this, but they all think we don’t like her. It’s not that we don’t like her, it’s just that we think she is too young for him and he could get in trouble, especially if she gets pregnant.
Queenie, what do you advise?—Worried parents
Dear Worried,
I have to wonder why a young man your son’s age is so interested in a girl so much younger unless it is that fact that she is willing to have sex with him. However, there is not much you can do about it, as the more you object, the more they will rebel against you.
If there is some other adult your son respects, perhaps that person can have a long talk with him and warn him about the possible trouble could be getting himself into. Other than that, you may have to let him learn his lesson the hard way – or (pray for it!) things may turn out all right in the long run.
Dear Queenie,
I have a degree in nursing and work at it full time. It is a rewarding career, but exhausting.
The problem is my elderly parents. They both have minor health issues and are constantly calling me to come over and help them. Actually there is nothing wrong with them that they couldn’t take care of themselves just by taking their prescribed medicine and obeying their doctor’s orders.
Queenie, I hate to let my parents down, but it’s more than I can take. How do I say “no” to them?—Overworked daughter
Dear Overworked,
It may be that your elderly parents’ faculties are diminishing with age and they are overwhelmed by their medical issues, minor as they may be, and the fact that they are growing older.
Contact the White and Yellow Cross (whiteyellowcross.org) to find out what assistance is available for senior citizens and make the necessary arrangements to get your parents the help they need from the district nurse.
Dear Queenie,
How do you respond to someone who calls you on the phone and says, “Hello, it’s me,” when you don’t recognise their voice?—At a loss
Dear At a loss,
If you have caller ID on your phone, that should tell you who is calling (assuming they are calling from their own telephone). If not, you can continue the conversation and hope the caller will give you a clue to his or her identity. Or you can respond, “Which ‘me’? I know so many people with that name.”
Dear Queenie,
When my daughter came home on vacation she was practically bald because she had cut off all her beautiful hair to donate it to Locks of Love.
Queenie, I’m proud of her for making this sacrifice, but what can I say to people who ask me why she looks so funny, does she have cancer or something?—Embarrassed mother
Dear Embarrassed,
I see no reason for you to be embarrassed. Just tell people what you have told me – that your daughter contributed her hair to a worthy cause and that you are proud of her for doing so.
