Dear Queenie,
There’s someone I work with who is always willing to talk and talk and talk about themself when you ask how they are or how their family is or what they did over the weekend, or whatever, but never once bothers to ask you how you are, or whatever.
Queenie, I find this rude. What do you think?—Conversation Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
I agree. But the solution seems obvious – do not ask this person anything about themself. Instead, ask them, “Would you like to hear how I am?” or “… what I did last weekend?” If they say “yes” (which I doubt will happen) feel free to give them a dose of their own medicine (although I doubt they will get the message).
Dear Queenie,
A woman I know divorced her husband because he had an affair with another woman. When she started dating again she got involved with a married man who eventually ditched her and went back to his wife and they patched up their marriage. Now this woman I know is doing everything she can to get that married man back.
When her husband cheated on her, she thought that other woman was just a whore. So Queenie, what does that make her for having an affair with a man who is married to someone else?—Revolted
Dear Revolted,
I quite agree with you. Her actions put her in the same class as the woman who broke up her marriage.
Dear Queenie,
Friends of ours (adults) celebrate their birthdays with a party every year. We enjoy these events, but we wonder, are we expected to bring a gift or is a birthday card enough?—Adult birthday Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
If the party is at a bar or a restaurant, buy the birthday boy/girl a drink. If the party is at their home bring a “hostess gift,” the same as you would do on a non-birthday occasion.
Dear Queenie,
A friend of mine got an anonymous letter in her mail that said all sorts of mean things. She thought it was from me and got mad at me for it, but I promise you, I didn’t send the letter. I only found out about it from another friend of both of us.
Queenie, now she won’t even talk to me so how can I convince her that it wasn’t me that sent the letter?—Unjustly accused
Dear Unjustly accused,
You could write her a letter explaining that you did not sent the offensive one, or you could ask that same mutual friend to tell her so, However, there is no guarantee she will believe your disclaimers and if she chooses to stay angry, I am sorry but there is nothing else you can do.
Dear Queenie,
My husband is attractive and friendly and women love to flirt with him. I get sick of watching them getting close to him and trying to put moves on him.
Queenie, what’s a polite way to tell them he’s taken?—Irritated wife
Dear Irritated,
Do these women know your husband is married? Are they acquainted with you? If so, just take his arm or hold his hand when they start cozying up to him and act as though they are talking to you too. If not, make a point of introducing yourself to them as his wife.
Also, have a talk with your husband and ask him not to encourage their behaviour; if necessary, to actively discourage it. He can do so easily by introducing you or starting to talk affectionately about you when they get too aggressive.
