Dear Queenie,

I always used to dream of getting together with a woman who liked sex as much as I do. But when I finally did, it was more like a nightmare.

First of all, I couldn’t satisfy her. We were together every night and I thought I had a lot of stamina in bed, but she was never satisfied, even when I was exhausted.

Then I found out she was going with other men when I was at work and I don’t think she was having safe sex because she never wanted to use a condom when she was with me.

I tried to get her to cool it a little for my sake and she said she would because she loved me, but I heard she was still going out behind my back so I got scared and I dumped her.

Queenie, if a man is expected to control his appetite for sex to please a woman, why isn’t a woman expected to do the same for her man?—Too pooped to pop

Dear Pooped,

Of course people who love each other should be expected to make compromises to reconcile their differences.

However, you seem to have hooked up with a woman who was a nymphomaniac, which is a far different matter than just liking sex. Nymphomania is an addiction to sex and, by definition, uncontrollable. Sometimes psychological counselling can help, but the woman must want to be helped, and even then it can be difficult.

I suggest you take a long, very restful vacation and then start looking for a woman with a more compatible libido.

Dear Queenie,

I have a friend who is always borrowing money from me, but never pays it back. It’s always a dollar for a snack or a drink or a few dollars for lunch or gas for her car or whatever, never very much, but it adds up to a lot of money over time.

Queenie, how can I collect my money and stop her from borrowing any more?—Going broke

Dear Going broke,

No one can take advantage of you unless you let them. When they try, just say no!

You may never be able to get back the money you have already lent her, but the next time this “friend” approaches you with a request for money, tell her you’re sorry, but you’re a little short of funds yourself because of all the money you have lent to her, and ask her if she could possibly pay back some of what she has borrowed.

Then present her with a list of the loans you have made her, if possible, or at least with the total amount she owes you, and ask her how soon she thinks she will be able to pay you back.

After that, whenever she approaches you for money ask her again (and again and again and again, if necessary) for repayment. You will soon see your money or, more likely, the last of this so-called friend.

Dear Queenie,

I never wanted to have children. Before we got married my wife said she felt the same way, or I wouldn’t have married her. But now that my brother and his wife have a baby, all of a sudden she doesn’t think life is complete without one.

I still don’t want children. I don’t like them, and I do like the way we have been living without them.

Queenie, I’m not going to change my mind. How can I get my wife to stick to the deal we made when we got married?—Don’t want kids

Dear Don’t want kids,

It’s possible your wife told you what you wanted to hear before you were married, expecting you would change your mind, or she could change it for you, later on.

It’s also possible she is seeing her brother’s baby “through rose-coloured glasses” – only seeing how cute and warm and cuddly it is and not noticing the dirty diapers, 2:00am feedings, expense, crying at all hours, being tied down and all the other less appealing aspects of parenthood.

Arrange with your brother and his wife for your wife to baby-sit for them while they take a nice romantic weekend off together (that is, assuming your wife knows how and can be trusted to take proper care of the infant). I’m sure they will appreciate the respite from parental duties and it may be an eye-opener for your wife.

If that doesn’t work, you had better take the responsibility for birth control into your own hands, or you may find yourself with one or more little “accidents” on your hands.

And remember, the only contraceptive method that is 100% certain for a man is a vasectomy. Condoms have been known to break, accidentally or otherwise, and I doubt that your wife can be trusted to use any other method effectively in her present frame of mind.

Readers, please note: I do not advocate either parenthood or childlessness, but I also do not recommend that a man who does not want children let himself be pressured or deceived into becoming a father. Children deserve better than a reluctant father who may eventually abuse or abandon them.

Dear Queenie,

My husband and I have been married for 20 years. This year for our anniversary he gave me clothes.

Queenie, it was the sexiest outfit I have ever seen, something only a prostitute would wear. Worse yet, it was about three sizes too small! I haven’t worn that size since before I started having babies.

When my husband asked me when I was going to wear the outfit, I asked him where he expected me to wear something like that anyway? He said in our bedroom. I said I’d think about it, and I didn’t say anything about the size.

Queenie, what do you think?—Plump matron

Dear Plump matron,

I think it’s rather sweet that your husband hasn’t noticed how much weight you have gained – unless, of course, he has noticed and is trying to give you a gentle hint and/or incentive to lose some of it. And don’t worry about his fantasy life as long as it’s you he wants to see in his daydreams.

If you can’t manage to lose the weight, exchange the outfit for one that fits and strut your stuff for him.

Keep trying to lose weight, and next year for your anniversary, buy yourself a sexy outfit that fits and give hubby another eyeful.