Dear Queenie,
My husband is everything I could ask for and I would be perfectly happy married to him if I didn’t know that he also has a byside. I have no intention of leaving him, but I would like to know why he does this.
Queenie, he says he loves me, so why does he also need someone else?—Confused wife

Dear Wife,
There could be any one or more of several reasons: He wants to prove to himself that he is attractive to other women than his wife, he simply cannot resist temptation, he does not get enough sexual satisfaction from you ... and the list goes on.
Have you tried asking him about this? Talking it over with him, and perhaps a professional marriage counsellor, might result in both of you being even happier married to each other.

Dear Queenie,
Recently I attended an engagement party where a close relative was going to introduce his fiancée to the family. I asked him her clothing size and brought her a nice blouse, but when she opened it she said it was not her favorite color and not her style and she handed it back to me. I returned it to the store and got a refund.
Queenie, should I get her something else to replace the gift she didn’t like?—Gift-giving Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,
I suggest you give her the most complete book on etiquette you can find. And in the future just give her money – I am willing to bet she will like the colour and style of that! Or make a donation to a charity in her name.

Dear Queenie,
I haven’t seen my girlfriend from high school in years, but I just found out she has cancer and not very much longer to live.
Queenie, would it be alright to send her flowers and a card? And should I tell my wife?—Undecided

Dear Undecided,
Of course it would be alright to send the flowers and card. But why not tell your wife? In fact, if she also knew this woman back then, put her name on the flowers and card along with yours.
I cannot think of any reason your wife should object to any of this, but if she does, do not do it.

Dear Queenie,
An ex-girlfriend of my husband’s contacted him on Facebook and while he was visiting on his home island he called her and invited her out to lunch. He told me about it when he got home and doesn’t understand why I am vexed.
In the first place, he didn’t tell me ahead of time that he was going to get in touch with her, and he never told her he is married.
Queenie, am I wrong for being vexed or was he wrong for what he did?—Just asking

Dear Just asking,
He was wrong for not telling you ahead of time and for not telling her he is married. But he did tell you afterward, and if you trust him and believe him that it was just lunch and talking about old times, it is not worth getting vexed. However, you can make it clear to him – gently, please – why you are vexed and that you expect him to do better in the future.