Dear Queenie,
Sometimes when I’m eating in a restaurant someone will come up to me and want to shake hands to say hello.
I don’t like shaking hands when I’m eating because who knows where that other person’s hand has been and I’m handling food, especially if it’s something like chicken wings or French fries that you pick up with your fingers.
Queenie, how would you handle this?—Greasy fingers
Dear Greasy,
Just tell the person, “Sorry, I am eating French fries (or chicken wings or whatever) and my hands are all greasy.” Far from being offended, the other person probably will appreciate your consideration.
Dear Queenie,
I’m in high school and in a couple of years I’ll be going away to college. The idea of being so far away from home really scares me and I know I will miss my family and friends.
Queenie, how am I going to get along with all of this all alone in a strange place?—High school student
Dear Student,
You have a couple of years to grow up some more and perhaps by then the prospect will not be so frightening. Meanwhile, you might want to consider continuing your education right here in St. Maarten for a year or two after graduating from high school – there are several possibilities.
And when (if) you finally do leave, there are many easy ICT [information communication technology – Ed.] ways to keep in touch with your family and friends at long distance, not to mention all the new friends you probably will make once over there.
Dear Queenie,
I want to get a tattoo, but my mother just hates the idea and has forbidden me to get one, so I guess I’ll have to wait until I’m old enough not to need her permission. I was thinking about something like “Mom” or “Mother” along with some fancy design.
Queenie, what do you think?—Teenager
Dear Teenager,
I think you cannot honour or show respect for your mother by doing something she hates and has forbidden you to do. If, when you are old enough, you must disrespect her wishes by getting a tattoo, do not compound the insult by using anything referring to her in the tattoo’s design.
Dear Queenie,
My husband has always claimed he doesn’t care about anything I did with any other man before we met but he keeps asking me for details about all those previous relationships.
I did have sex with a couple of them while we were together, but that all ended long before I even met my husband and he knows it.
So, Queenie, why is he so bothered by it now?—Pestered Wife
Dear Wife,
I suspect your husband finds the information provocative and titillating. He also may be afraid he suffers by comparison – and possibly that you might be tempted to cheat on him. Try to reassure him.
Dear Queenie,
I’m not an alcoholic, but I don’t like the taste of alcohol or the effects it has on people, so I do not drink the stuff. But some people get insulted if I don’t take a drink when they offer it.
Queenie, what can I say to them without being rude?—Non-drinker
Dear Non-drinker,
Whether you are an alcoholic (“recovering”) or not, my answer is the same: Tell them what you have told me about not liking alcohol’s taste and effects. If they keep pushing you to have a drink, tell them you will happily accept plain grape juice or name some other non-alcoholic beverage.
And, for the record, if anyone pushes you to eat or drink anything you do not want, they are the one(s) who are being rude for insisting, not you for not accepting.
