Dear Queenie,
My son’s fiancée’s mother is dead so whenever she has a problem with my son she comes running to me for advice and help. This is a real problem for me because I love my son and don’t want to take sides against him, but I am fond of her too and want to stay on good terms with her.
Queenie, how can I make her stop doing this?—Mother-in-law-to-be
Dear Mother-in-law-to-be,
Tell your son’s fiancée that if she is old enough to get married she is old enough to learn to deal with such personal problems herself and/or with her fiancé, your son, and you refuse to get involved.
If she still needs help with all this, suggest professional premarital counselling for her and/or for both of them.
Dear Queenie,
My father is mean and nasty to us kids and our mother when we are at home. Sometimes he even hits us. But in public or when we’re visiting his family he is just so nice to everyone, including us, so they all think he’s just wonderful and no one would believe us if we told them the truth about him.
Queenie, how can we protect ourselves?—Abused child
Dear Child,
Your father is an abuser, plain and simple, and there is help for you outside your family.
Safe Haven is there to help children as well as adults. You can reach them at their office, tel. 9277; 24-hour hotline number 9333 or (721) 523-6400. e-mail address: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.; or on Facebook: SafeHavenSt.Maarten . Some of these contacts may be out of service since Hurricane Irma, but I am sure at east one of them is still in operation.
Dear Queenie,
The other night I went to a performance I had been looking forward to for a long time and I ended up seated right behind two people who kept chatting all the time so I couldn’t hear what I came for. It spoiled the whole thing for me.
Queenie, what do you do in a case like that?—Angry audience
Dear Angry,
First, you ask the offenders – politely! – to be quiet. If that does not work, move to a different seat if one is available. And if you cannot move, ask someone in charge to speak to the offenders (and possibly remove them).
Dear Queenie,
My ex-girlfriend and I broke up a couple of years ago, but we stayed friends and see each other at parties and whatever. Her birthday was a few weeks ago and I got her a present and asked her to get together for me to give it to her, but I haven’t heard from her since.
Queenie, what should I do with it?—Ex-boyfriend
Dear EX-boyfriend,
Please note the emphasis I put on the “ex.”
Clearly your ex-girlfriend is not at all interested in “getting together” with you or receiving a gift from you. If the gift is something you can use yourself, do so. If not, donate it to a charity.
Dear Queenie,
How do you keep people you don’t want to see from going to the funeral of someone you care about? Having them there would just make things worse for me.
Queenie, how can I keep them away?—Offended in advance
Dear Offended,
If you announce the death in the newspaper, note that the funeral will be private. Then, make the funeral “by invitation only” and make sure there will be someone at the door to check the guest list.
