Dear Queenie,
I have been a high school teacher for a long time. Recently a man who was one of my students when I first started teaching came home from studying and living abroad and we met up and started talking about old times. One thing led to another and he asked me to go out with him on a date.
There was never anything more than student and teacher between us when he was in school but now he’s grown up I find him attractive too.
Queenie, would it be okay for us to start dating?—Hesitating teacher
Dear Teacher,
I see no problem here, except that – this being such a small island – there is likely to be gossip about the age difference between the two of you, and speculation about a possible previous (inappropriate) relationship. Be prepared to cope with either, or both, possibilities.
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend says she loves everything about me except that I’m not very good-looking and I’m too fat. I suppose I could lose some weight, but I’ll never be good-looking.
Queenie, what should I do?—Confused
Dear Confused,
Well, you could try to lose some weight. Doing so would be good for your health and you might also find you look better for doing it. But if that is what you decide to do, it should be because it is what you want for yourself, not just to please your girlfriend.
Dear Queenie,
A while ago my married brother asked me to fix him up with a date while he was visiting here without his wife. He also mentioned that he had recently broken up with his girlfriend (read “byside”).
Queenie, what ever happened to “forsaking all others” and getting divorced or at least separated before you start looking for someone else? And what should I say to him if this kind of thing comes up again?—Shocked sister
Dear Sister,
Just ask him the same questions you have asked me.
Dear Queenie,
I am a regular blood donor. Usually such things are kept anonymous, but recently I donated blood for a man who had been in an accident and he found out who the donor was and now seems to think we are “blood brothers.” He calls me or texts me every day to thank me again and tell me how he is doing.
Queenie, how can I get him to leave me alone?—His donor, not his pal
Dear Donor,
The next time he calls or texts, reply that you are pleased that he is doing all right, but that you would prefer for him to get on with his life and let you get on with yours – separately. Then block his number.
Dear Queenie,
My wife drinks too much now and then and when she’s been drinking she says and does stupid stuff that she doesn’t remember when she sobers up and thinks we’re making up stories about what she said and did.
Queenie, how can we make her believe us and maybe get some help for her drinking?—Worried husband
Dear Husband,
In these days of the ever-present cell phone with recording features the answer is simple: When your wife starts acting up, record what she says and does. Then play it back when she is sober. Who knows, it may even shock her into staying sober with you, and getting help doing so if she needs it.
