Dear Queenie,
When I looked at my wife’s phone I saw some messages she had been sending to and getting from a man she works with that had nothing to do with their work. After I asked her about him she deleted the messages and blocked him from her phone and I forgave her for whatever she had with him.
Queenie, I don’t look at her phone any more, but maybe I should. What do you think?—Worried husband
Dear Husband,
You should be able to trust your wife, and if she were doing anything she should not be doing, she would not leave her phone out where you can look into it.
Dear Queenie,
My wife’s sister was staying with us until we found out she was going out with a guy everyone knows is a drug dealer. We talked to her about this and asked her not to see him any more, but she is still going out with him, so we have asked her to leave.
Now my mother-in-law is mad at us and won’t talk to us because she doesn’t believe what we have told her about what my sister-in-law is doing.
Queenie, how can we make her understand why we did what we did? We want our children to see their grandmother.—Sad son-in-law
Dear Son-in-law,
Your mother-in-law does not want to believe what your sister-in-law is doing, so she takes out her vexation on you. Try to get back together with your mother-in-law without talking about what your sister-in-law is doing. Talk to her about what your children are doing and hope she will want to be a part of their lives.
Dear Queenie,
I have a chronic condition that there is no cure for and when people find out about it they always make some comment about it.
Queenie, what’s a good way to respond?—Fed up
Dear Fed up,
If the comment is sympathetic or a compliment, thank them. If it is a suggestion about how to cure yourself, thank them and tell them that is up to your doctor. And if they say it is “all in your head,” just ignore them.
Dear Queenie,
One of my friends always has some nasty comment about anything I tell him.
Queenie, I don’t want to offend him but I don’t want to stop being friends with him. What can I do?—Fed-up friend
Dear Fed-up friend,
Tell him calmly how you feel about his comments and hope your friendship survives. If it does not, you have my condolences, but sometimes that is the way things go.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter is almost in her teens and is thinking about having a boyfriend, but I want her to wait until she is older. Meanwhile, she is hanging out with a bunch of girls who keep getting in trouble and I want her to keep away from them.
Queenie, what do you advise?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
Keep your daughter busy with out-of school activities like sports, scouting, music and/or art, and make sure she does not have time to spend with people you do not approve of.
