Dear Queenie,
I have read several letters from people complaining about their husband or wife still being friends with his or her ex-wife or -husband.
My wife stayed on good terms with her ex and I always liked him and we have gotten to be pretty good friends, so having him around for family events like holidays or birthdays is no problem,
Queenie, why can’t people just learn to get along? It makes things a lot easier for everyone, especially the kids.—Second husband
Dear Second husband,
You are quite right. It is a pity others with previously-married spouses cannot share your attitude and point of view.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I have been only dating each other for almost a year, so I invited him to our family’s holiday dinner and he accepted, but later he decided to go to his family’s dinner instead and he didn’t invite me to go with him.
Shouldn’t a couple plan to be together for the holidays? And shouldn’t I have met his family by now? He has met mine.
Queenie, does this mean he doesn’t really care about me?—Disappointed girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
Apparently your boyfriend does not care for you as much as you care for him. You will have to decide what you want to do next about your relationship with him.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend has finished medical school and is working in a women’s health service as part of his residency. What worries me is the way he talks about some of the patients he takes care of and their medical problems and sometimes makes jokes about them.
I told him I think this is very bad taste, but isn’t it also against medical ethics? Could he get in trouble for it?
Queenie, should I do something about it?—Worried girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
Yes, this is against medical ethics and if your boyfriend’s supervisors find out about it, it could mean the end of his medical career.
Have you talked to your boyfriend about this and told him how you feel about it and how damaging it could be for him? If not, do so at once.
Even if you do not talk to him, you probably are not the only one to whom he talks this way and it is very likely that word will get back to his supervisors sooner or later and they will take appropriate action.
Dear Queenie,
I’m a woman in my 30s and I have dated a lot of men. I always meet them in public for the first few dates and if I like them enough I give them my e-mail address and that’s when things starts to go bad.
Several of them have sent me sexy or even nude pictures of themselves. When that happens I delete the pictures and stop seeing them and block them from my e-mail, but I can’t help wondering why they think it is okay to do it.
Queenie, what do you think?—Seen too much
Dear Seen too much,
I think you should ask yourself what you may be doing or saying to give these “flashers” the idea that you would be pleased to receive such pictures – or at least would not object to it.
Dear Queenie,
I’m getting married next year and my fiancé wants his best friend to be his best man, but his friend has a long scruffy beard. He is good-looking without the beard but with it he really looks horrible.
Queenie, is it okay for me to say he can’t be best man unless he shaves his beard?—Bride-to-be
Dear Bride-to-be,
If you ask him to shave his beard entirely, you risk his refusing and your being labelled a “bridezilla.” Would it be enough for you if he merely trimmed it shorter and brushed it into some semblance of neatness?
