Dear Queenie,
Whenever we are going somewhere, my wife is always late getting ready to go.
Queenie, how can I get her to be on time?—Another frustrated husband
Dear Husband,
Ask her whether she really wants to go, and if necessary, go without her and let her find her own way to get there if she really wants to go.
Dear Queenie,
My wife has started the change of life [menopause] and doesn’t want any kind of sexual contact any more. I could get along without sex, but I miss having any signs of affection.
Queenie, what can I do?—Frustrated husband
Dear Husband,
There are medical treatments that would help your wife deal with sexual contact. And professional counselling (Yes, I know I recommend this all the time!) would help her understand how to deal with your emotional needs.
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend and I have been living together for a couple of months. It was great at first, but she has gotten kind of hard to live with – she nags me a lot and yells at me if I don’t do something she wants or the way she wants it.
Queenie, I want to move out but I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have any family here to help me. What can I do?—Frustrated boyfriend
Dear Boyfriend,
A professional counsellor can help you deal with your girlfriend and the problems she causes, and can refer you to a local organisation(s) that can help you find your own place to live.
Dear Queenie,
When I go out to eat I often run into someone I know and they ask me to join them. Sometimes that is just great, but sometimes I would rather just have some quiet alone time.
Queenie, how do I politely refuse their offer?—Solitude Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Just say, “Thanks, but this time I would rather eat alone.” It would not be rude if you do not do it too often.
Dear Queenie,
When my first child was born my husband’s family came to visit right after we got home from the hospital. They stayed with us and instead of helping out, they made extra work for me to do in addition to taking care of the new baby.
Now we are expecting another baby and they want to come again as soon as we get home.
Queenie, how can I get them to wait for a while without offending them?—Expectant mother
Dear Mother,
Your husband should try to convince his parents to wait a while before coming to visit. If that doesn’t work, your baby’s doctor could help by saying they should wait a couple of months until the baby has had the first set of immunizations. This restriction should also apply to your family.
